求大神幫我看一下這篇作文的語法錯誤
ShouldCollege Be Encouraged to Attend TV Talent shows
Along with the advance of the society more and more phenomena broughtour attention,one of which is that many college students enjoys to attend TVTalent shows.
People hold different views about the phenomenon.Some peoplebelieve that TV Talent shows can enables college students to obtain societyexperience and make many friends who have common conversation topic with them.Butother people take an opposite side.They firmly believethat college student attends TV Talent shows to waste time.Asfar as I am concerned,the former notion is preferable in some senses.Thereasons are obvious.Firstly,these programs can extend our mind.Secondly,interest plays an important role in our study.Lastly,college student not onlysightsee more beautiful scene than ever,but also learn some interpersonalskills