除去很多鍵盤誤敲出的拼寫錯(cuò)誤
文中還有不少直觀的拼寫和語法錯(cuò)誤
例如
1.exsist(exist)
2.new-developed(newly developed)
3.backdraw(drawback)
4.when a new car is developed, an old generation will retire and that makes up a part of solid rubbish(對(duì)比前后的被動(dòng)和主動(dòng)以及名詞最好一致 到底想說car還是generation)
5.but a few of the many that illustrate the cases(完全看不懂 另外這里只討論一個(gè)問題,case必須單數(shù))
6.There we will no more be controled by the machines,where I can be a real human(你想說Therefore嗎?這里where用的實(shí)在不好)
7.some young people have already forgotten how to make fire and how to wash clothes, thanks to the cooker and the washing machine(當(dāng)thanks to表示由于...的原因時(shí)必須放句子前面)
8.boast(boost)
最后對(duì)文章總體提點(diǎn)意見
1.段落層次不分明
2.主語最好一致 前面說I就一路I下去 不要I和we混用
3.最好給出具體例子 比如某某(一定要給出名字)由于過度依賴現(xiàn)代科技(寫出依賴哪種具體科技)而自食其果(怎么樣的悲慘后果,雅思作文忌諱只講道理不給事例
我個(gè)人給5分 此文在實(shí)際考試中可得的分?jǐn)?shù)會(huì)在4.5-5.5分波動(dòng)
幫忙給這篇雅思作文打個(gè)分!
幫忙給這篇雅思作文打個(gè)分!
大概就是modern technology和simple technology你更prefer哪個(gè).再改下錯(cuò)(單詞拼寫錯(cuò)誤不算).
Modern technology did change my life.In recent years,more and more people tend to enjoy a kind of so-called ‘high level civilization’ life which is fully filled with modern technology.But is it really reasonable to abandon the old things we once had to make our psat life a little easier?My point of view is absolutely not,for only when thchnology is simpler can we keep our mind moving,thus give us a wider space to do things by ourselves.
Simple technology brings us enormous benefitwhich can not be replaced by those modern and complex technology.Firstly,when modern technology first came to our eyes,we may found it useful and convenient and felt like to get rid of our old lifestyle.For this reason,some of our culture will soon disappear and as long as modern technology continue to exsist and expense,our old culture will never back again.We should pay attention to this:some young people have already forgotten how to make fire and how to wash clothes,thanks to the cooker and the washing machine.Without these basic living skills,how can a man live alone if all the machines break down?Secondly,modern technology comes with pollution.I think nobady can bear the terriblr things that pollution brings to us.We shou make it clear that it is the modern technology that brings pollution to our daily life.Technology is developing,and so do the pollution situation.Let’s take some new-developed cas for example:when a new car is developed,an old generation will retire and that makes up a part of solid rubbish.When a new car boasts that it can go faster,it will surely use more petrol,thus cause a lot of air pollution which will do nothing good to people.Thirdly,modern technology makes people lazy.Can you image that when the housework is all done by machines,what will housewives do?According to a recent report,they prefer to stay in a coach and watch TV,in this way,more and more ‘coach potatoes’ are produced.The examples I have given but a few of the many that illustrate the cases that modern technology’s backdraw that harm us.although modern technology did improve our life,I prefer to live in a place where technology is sinpler.There we will no more be controled by the machines,where I can be a real human.
大概就是modern technology和simple technology你更prefer哪個(gè).再改下錯(cuò)(單詞拼寫錯(cuò)誤不算).
Modern technology did change my life.In recent years,more and more people tend to enjoy a kind of so-called ‘high level civilization’ life which is fully filled with modern technology.But is it really reasonable to abandon the old things we once had to make our psat life a little easier?My point of view is absolutely not,for only when thchnology is simpler can we keep our mind moving,thus give us a wider space to do things by ourselves.
Simple technology brings us enormous benefitwhich can not be replaced by those modern and complex technology.Firstly,when modern technology first came to our eyes,we may found it useful and convenient and felt like to get rid of our old lifestyle.For this reason,some of our culture will soon disappear and as long as modern technology continue to exsist and expense,our old culture will never back again.We should pay attention to this:some young people have already forgotten how to make fire and how to wash clothes,thanks to the cooker and the washing machine.Without these basic living skills,how can a man live alone if all the machines break down?Secondly,modern technology comes with pollution.I think nobady can bear the terriblr things that pollution brings to us.We shou make it clear that it is the modern technology that brings pollution to our daily life.Technology is developing,and so do the pollution situation.Let’s take some new-developed cas for example:when a new car is developed,an old generation will retire and that makes up a part of solid rubbish.When a new car boasts that it can go faster,it will surely use more petrol,thus cause a lot of air pollution which will do nothing good to people.Thirdly,modern technology makes people lazy.Can you image that when the housework is all done by machines,what will housewives do?According to a recent report,they prefer to stay in a coach and watch TV,in this way,more and more ‘coach potatoes’ are produced.The examples I have given but a few of the many that illustrate the cases that modern technology’s backdraw that harm us.although modern technology did improve our life,I prefer to live in a place where technology is sinpler.There we will no more be controled by the machines,where I can be a real human.
其他人氣:477 ℃時(shí)間:2020-04-30 14:44:06
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