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  • 給文章修改,提點(diǎn)意見(jiàn)(300字英文)

    給文章修改,提點(diǎn)意見(jiàn)(300字英文)
    Economy is considered as an important criterion to a country’s success.But others think there are still other factors that can measure a country’s success.What do you think are other factors?Which is more important than economy?
    With the amazing acceleration of industrialization and prosperity of economy,the positions of many countries stretch from the well-being society to more developed period that it is never undergone.Some economy experts contend that economy is considered as a crucial aspect to determine country’s success.Quite a few other scientists argued that there are many other areas that can identify whether a country’s success.The purpose of this essay is to explore the factors which will influence a country’s success and present my own opinion about which factor is most important.
    First and foremost,the majority of educators believe that the quality of education system is one of the factors to influence country’s success.Generally speaking,it is no denying that the power of knowledge is a precondition of country’s success.This is because that professional technique in all-round aspects can be improved by the advanced knowledge.Internet,for instance,can encourage the world communication and international trade,which will increase the country’s economy.Therefore,it can be concluded that education can be considered as a significant factors to determine a country’s success.
    Another important aspect to maintain a country’s success is healthcare system.It is universally acknowledged that most people will prefer to consider a good healthcare as a principle of country’s success that will stabilize their life rather than a country’s economy.To be specific,both infant death rate and average lifespan can represent the situation in a country whether success or not.Obama,for example,persuade the congress to pass the healthcare protocol,which will change the detrimental atmosphere that a wealth of US citizens cannot afford the basic healthcare.Hence,it can be concluded that a good healthcare system can determined a successful country.
    To sum up,in spite of the fact that both economy and healthcare system are the crucial factor for a successful country,the quality of education system is predominant factor among those three aspects.So,in my own view,improving education system and narrow the gap of education quality between urban and rural areas are the first step to be a successful country.
    英語(yǔ)人氣:293 ℃時(shí)間:2019-08-17 11:51:44
    優(yōu)質(zhì)解答
    第一段Economy is considered as an important criterion to a country’s success.But others think there are still other factors that can measure a country’s success.【這句話里有兩個(gè)other,下一句又有other,讀起來(lái)重復(fù),可以改一下.】 What do you think are other factors?Which is more important than economy?【我覺(jué)得what 比 which 好.】
    第二段 Some economy experts(寫(xiě)成 economists 也可以)contend that economy is considered as a crucial aspect to determine country’s success.
    whether a country’s success【我認(rèn)為應(yīng)該是:whether a country is
    sussess】
    which factor is 【這里應(yīng)該有個(gè) the (最高級(jí),樓主忘了吧)】most important.
    as a significant factors 【factor 沒(méi)有s,單數(shù)形式】
    it is no denying 【應(yīng)該是there is no denying,我不知道it is 可不可以】
    第三段:one of the factors to 【不需要to,influence a country's success作定語(yǔ)修飾factors 省略 that】influence country’s success.
    increase the country’s economy 【promote(促進(jìn))比increase(增加)好一點(diǎn)】
    第四段:that most people will prefer to consider 【刪掉will,不用,多余而且不通順】
    persuade the congress…… 【應(yīng)該是persuading,作主語(yǔ),用動(dòng)名詞形式】
    個(gè)人認(rèn)為,樓主一些詞使用的頻率有點(diǎn)高了,比如consider……可以換其他詞代替,a country's success 也可以用it 代替.
    有不對(duì)或有疑問(wèn)的的地方,樓主一定要指出來(lái),我們一起進(jìn)步!
    2009.11.12 20:07
    真抱歉!昨天沒(méi)有看到你的消息.
    對(duì)不起.我漏看前面的 Obama 啦.是的是的,不應(yīng)該改,應(yīng)該加個(gè)ed
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