幫我看看這篇英文的語病
As I said before,my English is not so great,but now that I've promised to write to you and you don't mind my awkward language,I decided to send you my first English letter.
I think it would be better to present a brief self introduction first.I live in Shanghai,and it is here that I was brought up.Although it is a beautiful place,I found it quite hard to adapt to the severe competition.You see,it's a big city which leads the country in its economy,so it's very reasonable for you to imagine the difficulty of finding a decent job,especially for someone who is as untalented as me.Of course,I am not saying it is only here that people find difficult to get a job.
It seems I am talking something I don't like to talk,now let us leave all those practical problems behind and talk something we do like.
自己看還要你干嗎啊
看看原版的文章?哪來的原版,這是我寫的啊,大哥.