第一句用show更好些 suitation 比較生僻,是situation?
第二段第一句話graph是名詞,并且你一定要注意graph和chart是不一樣的 第一句應(yīng)該是 in many categories 還有l(wèi)arge本身就是形容詞,后面不用跟of.which后應(yīng)該是has因?yàn)槟阌盟鷇iploma. times是可數(shù),用as many as.還有In undergraduate diploma和however做同一成分,它倆不能并存,可把however放后面些 還有the percentage of women ?這也不清楚 有時(shí)間再幫你改...我先睡一覺 你要多多加油了
有篇雅思小作文哪位高手幫忙看看能得計(jì)分,有錯(cuò)請(qǐng)批評(píng)指正(這是劍橋雅思4 Text3里的WRITING TASK1)
有篇雅思小作文哪位高手幫忙看看能得計(jì)分,有錯(cuò)請(qǐng)批評(píng)指正(這是劍橋雅思4 Text3里的WRITING TASK1)
The chart appears that the different suitation of post-school were reached by men and women in Australia in 1991
Form the graphic,we can see that women and men have a large of gap in some categories,especially in skilled vicational diploma,which have 90% men who were approximately 9 times as much as women in 1991.In undergraduate diploma,howere,the percentage of women were doubled than men who stood at 40%.The most similiaroties between the percentage of women and men hold degree’s suitition in Australia exists in Bachelor’s degree.And then,the men with postgraduate diploma were more than wemen,70% and 30% respectively.As the same time,in Master’s degree category,number of women less than men who attained 60%
The chart appears that the different suitation of post-school were reached by men and women in Australia in 1991
Form the graphic,we can see that women and men have a large of gap in some categories,especially in skilled vicational diploma,which have 90% men who were approximately 9 times as much as women in 1991.In undergraduate diploma,howere,the percentage of women were doubled than men who stood at 40%.The most similiaroties between the percentage of women and men hold degree’s suitition in Australia exists in Bachelor’s degree.And then,the men with postgraduate diploma were more than wemen,70% and 30% respectively.As the same time,in Master’s degree category,number of women less than men who attained 60%
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