感覺5至5.5左右,模版痕跡較重(尤其首段),有一些語法錯誤,句式不夠靈活,被動句只有一個(還是模板句),倒裝句也沒有.詞匯還可以,夠用,但是貌似也沒什么加分詞,同義替換什么的.
第一段:
第一個句子就不成句,還是說那個是逗號?如果是逗號也不該是With開頭,要換成Because of/Due to/Owing to
pay---paying
第四行的and -- while
latter’s--latter
list--listed
而且內(nèi)容上有個非常大的問題:你support的觀點是latter one,也就是“學(xué)校不應(yīng)該aim at cultivating student’s overall abilities ” ,這個完全不等于題目說的help graduates to find better jobs.甚至有跑題傾向了,非常影響分?jǐn)?shù)
(我猜想你是不是想說你支持題目的latter view?你這個former,latter得根據(jù)你自己前面寫的內(nèi)容,而不是題目……于是latter改成former)
(第二段不知道怎么下手,先不改了)
第三段:
is help --is helping,用should help會更好
who are lack ---who lack(lack沒有形容詞屬性,前面不用be動詞,它是動詞或名詞)
will--would (因為你后面的if后面用了didn't)
最多一段:
觀點不太明確,請點題.明顯指出你支持哪一方,反對哪一方
--> and encourage students acquire various abilities in school rather than just focus on how to seek better careers
win-win working in long term --win-win method in the long term
評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)是:內(nèi)容、語法、詞匯、句子靈活度4方面,注意從這四方面提高和練習(xí)吧,尤其是內(nèi)容和邏輯方面
求雅思作文批改,以及大概的分?jǐn)?shù)和不足之處
求雅思作文批改,以及大概的分?jǐn)?shù)和不足之處
Many people believe that the main
aim for university education is to help graduates to find better jobs,while
some people believe that university education should aim at cultivating
students’ overall abilities.What is your opinion?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With the development of people ‘s living
standard .There are growing numbers of people pay attention to the issue of university’s
education .Some people believe that university education should aim
at cultivating student’s overall abilities .and other people keep a totally
opposite attitude in it .Personally ,I support the latter’s view and the reason
will be list as follows .
First of all ,there is an old saying that :’It
is not only giving people a fish ,but also teaching people how to fish .’A
successful school not only providing a post to student ,but also teaching them
how to study by themselves in the future .It is the reason why the university
such as Cambridge and peking university is famous in all over the world .
Furthermore ,it can provide more high
quality workforce to the local workforce market ,and then stimulate the
development of the whole country ,enhance the people’s living standard .For example
,there is an dramatic development in China ,since China rebuilt the education system
.It is no denying that education is very important to an country .
On the other hand .Some people believe university
education is help graduates to find a better job .But I believe these students
who are lack the abilities and knowledge will hard to cope with the work if
they didn’t focus on study in university .
In conclusion ,government and companies
should support the university’s education system ,encourage students acquire
more abilities in school .it is a win-win working in long term .
Many people believe that the main
aim for university education is to help graduates to find better jobs,while
some people believe that university education should aim at cultivating
students’ overall abilities.What is your opinion?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With the development of people ‘s living
standard .There are growing numbers of people pay attention to the issue of university’s
education .Some people believe that university education should aim
at cultivating student’s overall abilities .and other people keep a totally
opposite attitude in it .Personally ,I support the latter’s view and the reason
will be list as follows .
First of all ,there is an old saying that :’It
is not only giving people a fish ,but also teaching people how to fish .’A
successful school not only providing a post to student ,but also teaching them
how to study by themselves in the future .It is the reason why the university
such as Cambridge and peking university is famous in all over the world .
Furthermore ,it can provide more high
quality workforce to the local workforce market ,and then stimulate the
development of the whole country ,enhance the people’s living standard .For example
,there is an dramatic development in China ,since China rebuilt the education system
.It is no denying that education is very important to an country .
On the other hand .Some people believe university
education is help graduates to find a better job .But I believe these students
who are lack the abilities and knowledge will hard to cope with the work if
they didn’t focus on study in university .
In conclusion ,government and companies
should support the university’s education system ,encourage students acquire
more abilities in school .it is a win-win working in long term .
其他人氣:377 ℃時間:2020-06-05 06:55:41
優(yōu)質(zhì)解答
我來回答
類似推薦
- 雅思作文批改,最好順便能給個大體分?jǐn)?shù)!
- 雅思作文求批改,最好能給個分?jǐn)?shù),
- 雅思作文 幫我批改下~~謝謝啦~(給個分?jǐn)?shù),怎么提高呢?)
- 求批改雅思作文 順便看看能拿多少分!
- 雅思作文求高手批改打分
- 一次外出旅游 作文
- 小數(shù)除法的意義與( )的意義相同,是已知( )的積與其中的一個( ),求另一個( )的運算.
- 描寫對大海向往的句子
- 已知二次函數(shù)y=f(x)的對稱軸x=1,與x軸有兩個交點,則,不等式f(x-1)>f(x+2)的解集是多少?
- 若不等式sinx√(a-sin^2x)小于等于1/2 x屬于R,則a的取值
- 一艘輪船在水流速度為2千米/時的河流中保持同一靜水速度航行,已知該輪船逆水航行10千米所用時間
- 已知關(guān)于x的方程2x+a/x+b=x,有兩個絕對值相等符號相反的實根,則ab的取值范圍分別是
猜你喜歡
- 1汽車的速度是火車速度的4/7.兩車同時從兩地相向而行,在離中點15千米處相遇,這時火車行了多少千米?
- 2某溶液中含有HCO3-、SO32-、CO32-、CH3COO-4種陰離子.若向其中加入足量的Na2O2后,溶液中離子濃度基本保持不變的是( ?。?A.CH3COO- B.SO32- C.CO32- D.HCO3-
- 3求幾個D開頭單詞
- 4化學(xué)方程式配平ClO2+KOH~KCl+KClO3+H2O大神們幫幫忙
- 5若a+b小于0,a分之b大于0,則a大于還是小于0,b大于還是小于0?
- 6純乙酸如何配成0.05mol/L乙酸
- 7“氨基酸堿基和mRNA堿基互補”能這么說嗎?問題是氨基酸由氨基羧基和R基團構(gòu)成,哪來堿基?
- 8你知道哪些成語?編一個小故事吧.
- 9做報價怎么計算墻面面積?
- 1018度42分36秒等于多少度
- 11寫出至少含有四個零,但一個零都不讀出來的六位整數(shù)、七位整數(shù)、八位整數(shù)各一個
- 12x+1/x的平方+8x+9