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  • 誰(shuí)能幫我看下雅思作文!謝謝

    誰(shuí)能幫我看下雅思作文!謝謝
    大神們,這篇大概能得幾分?
    題目:The time and money spent on the protection of wild animals should be spent on improving human lives instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
    我的文章:
    Nowadays, as government and the publichighlight the wild animals conservation, people are closer to a moreeco-friendly society.However, some people are unwilling to allocate money andtime to animal protection, they think human lives are in more emergency need ofthose resources. To me , I am going against it.

    Wild animals, our friendly neighbours, whoare sharing the whole planet with us, have practicely lost all the habitatsthey used to live in. Even some of them are in danger of distinction. So as a neighbor,we are to blame if we do nothing to preserve them. In addition, these animalsare part of nature, plant together with animal constitute a balancedeco-system. If we allow the animals to be destroyed by illegal trade(such asivory trade) and hunting(e.g. people hunting for animals’ valuable skins),balance will be disrupted. Basically, we have suffered the catastrophes owingto breaking up natural circulation.

    Although, resources are required to improvehuman’s life, such as reducing gap between the rich and the poor, that does notmean we could be so selfish that we never care about the suffering animal. Whatis more, economy is advancing, there fore , there is no chronic poverty, butendangered animals. To this point, we have no alternatives and we have no suchright to make a decision whether biodiversity should exists.

    In conclusion, from my perspective, it is afact that we still don’t live an ideal life with endless money. Nevertheless,in terms of wild animals conservation, the issue which transcends nationalboundaries, it is our obligation to put a hand on our animal neighbours.
    其他人氣:976 ℃時(shí)間:2020-05-24 14:09:30
    優(yōu)質(zhì)解答
    這篇文章大概值4-5分
    最大的問(wèn)題在于你的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤非常多,很多短語(yǔ)和失態(tài)用得都不大恰當(dāng).其次很多chinglish的說(shuō)法,在英語(yǔ)中是從來(lái)不那么用的.最后你的論點(diǎn)比較單一,應(yīng)該要更多方面的思考這個(gè)問(wèn)題
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