I work for 7up"! 四個好朋友在醫(yī)院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產(chǎn).護士過來對第一個男人說:"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經(jīng)理."過了一會兒,護士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,護士跑來對第三個男人說:"恭喜,你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們?nèi)齻€都很高興,但第四個伙伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝并用頭撞墻.他們問他有什么不對勁,他回答道:"什么不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
2.英語幽默短文 Five Hundred Times 五百遍

In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times." 在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭里,一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前,她由于開車闖紅燈被開了罰單.女士向法官解釋,她是一名學(xué)校老師,請求法官馬上處理她的案子,以便可以趕回去上課.法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠,說道：“你是學(xué)校的老師,對嗎?女士,我馬上要實現(xiàn)我畢生的愿望了.在那張桌子旁坐下,寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍.
1. Limit the consumption of fine sugars By this, I mean sugars which are powdery or in small cubes which are use to make cakes and other delicacies. So no sugar in your Coffee or tea as from now. Replace white bread with wholewheat breads. Stop drinking sodas. These food products have a high glycemic index: they contain a lot of sugar which are digested and absorbed very quickly by the human body. Cancerous cells need a lot of glucose to develop rapidly. A diet with lots of sugars can favorize the development of tumors in your body. Moreover, your pancreas, the organ which produces insulin in your body, must increase its turnover of insulin to break down surplus sugar. This increase of insulin, according to the chief of cancerology department, stimulates the growth and diffusion of cancerous cells. It is imperative then to limit the consumption of fine sugars. 2. Avoid hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated oils You can find them in some margarines and prepared dishes. They have inflammatory properties and prepare the ground for the formation of cancerous tissues. These are also trans fat products. Trans fats lowers the amount of HDL or good cholesterol. 3. Opt for fresh farmers foods Fresh farmers foods have the advantage of having been cultivated the traditional way. The fruits and vegetables are not contaminated by pesticides and insecticides and the meats are not loaded with steroids and hormones. But beware though. Some farmers do resort to orthodox and unhealthy methods to boost their productions. 4. Green Tea Green tea is rich in polyphenols and seems to block the formation of tumors by preventing blood vessels of forming everywhere. Green tea also seem to prevent the formation of leukemia, cancers of the prostate, breasts, kidneys, skins and mouth. 5. Soja Soja contains isoflavines which have the property of reducing overstimulation of the body by oestrogens. It is used in some treatments of cancer like breasts cancer. 6. Curcuma Curcuma have anti-inflammatory properties and thus may prevent proliferation of some tumors, namely in the colon, liver or stomach and breasts. 7. Maintain a correct weight Maintain your BMI (Body Mass Index) in the healthy normal range of 18.5 to 24,9. Overweight and obesity increase the risks of developing cancer, even more if you have a lot of fatty tissues around your waists. An increase in weight raises the probability of having cancer in your colon and rectum, oesophagus, pancreas, kidneys and breasts even after menopause. 8. Do some regular physical activities The famous 30 minutes daily walk must no longer remains as idle talks. You must make sure you have a daily time slice to do some jogging, walking or other physical activities. Doing some kind of sports may have some benefits against certain types of cancer such as lung and pancreatic cancers. 9. Limit the consumption of red meat to 500 g per week Red meat has been known to be one of the causes of the cancer of the colon and rectum. But do not eliminate it completely from your diet because it is also a very good source of essential minerals and nutrients like proteins, zinc and iron. 10. Daily Maximum Alcohol Intake: only 1 glass for women and two glasses for men And no alcohol for pregnant women! Alcohol favorizes the apparition of cancer in certain parts of the body: colon, rectum, oesophagus, liver and even breasts. 11. Limit consumption of salt to 5 g per day It seems that salt is one of the major causes of stomach cancer. 12. Mothers should breastfeed their babies Ideally every baby should be fed by breastfeeding only till the age of six months. Breastfeeding decreases the risks of Breast Cancers for the women and participates in the development of a solid immunitary system of the growing child. This also prevents overweight later.
Note that nutrition is one of the contributing factors among other factors such as heredity, stress, work environment, exposure to sun and chemicals, smoking but if you manage to atleast control one factor, you are decreasing the risks of developing cancer.