Mrs.Brown:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs.Smith:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs.Brown:It's no use,my little dog can't read.
我的狗不識(shí)字
布朗夫人：哦,
親愛的,我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告啊!
布朗夫人：沒有用的,我的小狗不認(rèn)識(shí)字.”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with
the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents
more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢.
“昨天給你的錢干什么了?”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆,”他回答說.
“你真是個(gè)好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說.“再給你兩分錢.可你為什么對(duì)那位老
太太那么感興趣呢?”
“她是個(gè)賣糖果的.”
The Perfect Son.
A:I have the perfect son.
B:Does he smoke?
A:No,he doesn't.
B:Does he drink whiskey?
A:No,he doesn't.
B:Does he ever come home late?
A:No,he doesn't.
B:I guess you really do have the perfect son.How old is he?
A:He will be six months old next Wednesday.
完美兒子
A:我有一個(gè)很完美的兒子.
B:他抽煙嗎?
A:不抽.
B:他喝威士忌酒嗎?
A:不喝.
B:他會(huì)不會(huì)很晚回家?
B:我想你確實(shí)有一個(gè)完美兒子.那他多大了?
A:下個(gè)星期三就滿6個(gè)月了.
They are directly from America
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.At the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more,uttering."Trust me,Sir,and trust the money.They are real US dollars.They are directly from America."
它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的
一位中國(guó)老婦人在美國(guó)看望女兒回來(lái)不久,到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元.在銀行柜臺(tái),銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票,看是否有假.
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩,最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說：“相信我,先生,也請(qǐng)你相信這些鈔票.這都是真正的美元,它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的.”
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry,sir.It must have been in a fight.
-- Well,bring me the winner then.
給我那個(gè)打贏的吧
-- 服務(wù)員,
這個(gè)龍蝦只有一只爪.
-- 對(duì)不起,先生,這只肯定打過架了.
-- 哦,那給我那個(gè)打贏的吧
Drunk
One day,a father and his little son were going home.At this age,the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.Now,he asked,"What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk',dad?" "Well,my son," his father replied,"look,there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But,dad," the boy said," there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父親與小兒子一道回家.這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對(duì)什么事都很感興趣的年齡,老是有提不完的問題.他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸,” “唔,孩子,”父親回答說,“你瞧那兒站著兩個(gè)警察.如果我把他們看成了四個(gè),那么我就算醉了.” “可是,爸爸,”孩子說,“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀!”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese.The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.The visitor smiled,put the cheese into his mouth and then said:"You must have better eyes than your mother,sonny.Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap,sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時(shí),家里沒有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子.過了一會(huì)兒,他拿著一片奶酪回到房間,把奶酪放在客人的盤子里.客人微笑著把奶酪放進(jìn)嘴里說：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夾上,先生.”那小男孩說.
（不知道這些行不行,雖然我都是去網(wǎng)上找的,