求大神幫改作文
求大神幫改作文
題目是Please Join in Our Charity Auction
要求
假設(shè)你們學(xué)校一年一度的慈善拍賣(charity auction)即將舉行,作為負(fù)責(zé)人的你將在學(xué)校的網(wǎng)站上用英語寫一篇文章,宣傳此次活動.文章的內(nèi)容包括以下幾方面:
1.慈善拍賣的目的;
2. 慈善拍賣的相關(guān)事宜;
3. 發(fā)出倡議.
下面是我寫的.估計需要大改動.很急很急啊啊啊!英文很差的孩子真的沒辦法.
The annual charity auction will be held next Friday in our school.The purpose of this charity auction is to help the children to suffer from the serious disease.The sponsor hope this charity auction will help more and more children far away from disease and make more and more people pay attention to the sick children.
There are some words I want to tell you.The first we hope all of you will join in our charity auction!There are many ways to join us,for example,you can work as a volunteer to help us to prepare the charity auction or donate something that you think it have value. What’s more we will invite some politicians or celebrities to our charity auction.And after charity auction,an evening party for all the guests will be held in the auditorium.
Please join in our charity auction!I think if you join us and you will not be disappointed!
評分網(wǎng)站說我結(jié)構(gòu)欠佳.要把這個東西改到19分以上.我這篇提交的時候評出來的才16.5分.
題目是Please Join in Our Charity Auction
要求
假設(shè)你們學(xué)校一年一度的慈善拍賣(charity auction)即將舉行,作為負(fù)責(zé)人的你將在學(xué)校的網(wǎng)站上用英語寫一篇文章,宣傳此次活動.文章的內(nèi)容包括以下幾方面:
1.慈善拍賣的目的;
2. 慈善拍賣的相關(guān)事宜;
3. 發(fā)出倡議.
下面是我寫的.估計需要大改動.很急很急啊啊啊!英文很差的孩子真的沒辦法.
The annual charity auction will be held next Friday in our school.The purpose of this charity auction is to help the children to suffer from the serious disease.The sponsor hope this charity auction will help more and more children far away from disease and make more and more people pay attention to the sick children.
There are some words I want to tell you.The first we hope all of you will join in our charity auction!There are many ways to join us,for example,you can work as a volunteer to help us to prepare the charity auction or donate something that you think it have value. What’s more we will invite some politicians or celebrities to our charity auction.And after charity auction,an evening party for all the guests will be held in the auditorium.
Please join in our charity auction!I think if you join us and you will not be disappointed!
評分網(wǎng)站說我結(jié)構(gòu)欠佳.要把這個東西改到19分以上.我這篇提交的時候評出來的才16.5分.
英語人氣:863 ℃時間:2020-03-26 03:05:58
優(yōu)質(zhì)解答
你寫的很好了,能知道你是幾年級的嗎?高中?The purpose of this charity auction is to help the children to suffer from the serious disease.應(yīng)該為:The purpose of this charity auction is to help the childre...。。。。。。要把這個東西改到19分以上。。。。。我這篇提交的時候評出來的才16.5分。。。。。你想怎么改讓這個東西層次在鮮明一點。。。。。我在內(nèi)容和結(jié)構(gòu)上的分?jǐn)?shù)很低。。。。一直都到不了19分。。。大大可以幫我刪刪減減。。。。。讓它更貼合老師的那個要求。。。。。那個網(wǎng)站對我的評語是這樣的。。。。評語: 文中詞匯表達(dá)比較多樣,能多用學(xué)術(shù)詞匯就更好了;作者句法知識很棒,適當(dāng)增加從句的使用,會取得更不錯的成績;不能熟練使用過渡詞,文章結(jié)構(gòu)欠佳不好意思,我只是初中生,只能幫你改到這了,不過恭喜你呀
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