1.A young business man had just started his business,and rented a beautiful office.Sitting there,he saw a man come into the outer office.Wishing to appear busy,the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working.He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
一個年輕人剛開始做生意,租了一間漂亮的辦公室.坐在辦公室,他看見一個人從外面走進辦公室.裝著很忙的樣子,他拿起話筒,假裝正在跟人談一筆很大的生意.他從嘴里說出的,都是數(shù)目很大的數(shù)字,還有口氣很大的許諾.
Finally,he hung up and asked the visitor."Can I help you?" The man said,"Sure.I've come to install the phone."
最后,他掛上電話,問來訪者:“您有什么事嗎?”來訪者說:“哦,我是來裝電話的.”
2.Julie was saying her bedtime prayers."Please God," she said,"Make Naples the capital of Italy.Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said,"Julie,why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replied,"Because that’s what I put in my geography exam!"
朱莉葉在做睡前禱告.“禱告上帝,”她說,“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧.讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧.”
媽媽打斷她說：“朱莉葉,你為什么求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢?”
朱莉葉回答說：“因為我在地理考卷上是這么寫的.”
3.The Swimmer
The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast.
Johnny laughed.
"Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked the teacher.
"No,sir," answered Johnny,"but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and get back to the side where his clothes were."
游泳者
老師給同學們講了一個小故事,說有一個人早飯前要在河里游泳,橫渡三趟.
約翰尼笑了.
老師問道：“你不相信一個游泳很好的人可以做到么?”
約翰尼回答說：“不是的,先生,我是不明白他為什么不游四次,好回到他放衣服的那邊.”
4.It was the day of the big sale.Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30,the store's opening time,in front of the store.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line,only to be pushed back,amid loud and colorful curse.On the man's second attempt,he was punched square in the jaw,and knocked around a bit,and then thrown at the end of the line again.
As he got up,he said to the person at the end of the line,” That does it!If they hit me one more time,I won't open the store!"
一天,一個商店降價大甩賣.人們在開店之前就排在了商店門前,排成了很長的一隊.一個身材矮小的人推擠著想到隊伍的前面,但被推了回來,而且被咒罵著插隊.那個人又一次努力往前擠,但是又被擠到了最后面,而且下巴被重重的碰了幾下,他對最后一個人說：“如果他們再次這樣對我,我就不去開商店門了!”
5.Goldfish
Stan:I won 92 goldfish.
Fred:Where are you going to keep them?
Stan:In the bathroom .
Fred:But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan:Blindfold them!
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚.
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養(yǎng)它們?
斯丹：浴室.
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎么辦?
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛!