看出來你的英語不怎么樣,努力吧.
首先語法選擇上有很大問題,講過的事情要全篇用過去式,只有在描述現(xiàn)在所想所發(fā)生的事采用現(xiàn)在時,時態(tài)要一致.第二although和but絕對不能連用,連詞和句式的選擇上很有問題.第三斷句有問題,不知道什么時候該結(jié)束一句話.第四選詞不準確,全篇大量中式英語.
對以上幾方面我給你改通順了,以后你要多寫,多找同學幫你看,改（當然要英文寫作好的）,多看些閱讀什么的增加語感,祝你好運了.
I am a Chinese student.When I graduated from my high school,I went to
Korea to learn Korean and chose to study in Chung-Ang University.
The memoey of first semester here is still fresh to me now.In September 2010,my life turned into a new page--my university life.I was happy that I could be here,but I was also
worried about not adapting to the different university life.Since I knew nothing about this place,I always endeavoired to get used to everything here..
School was helpping foreign students to chooses their classes,there were two
courses teaching English.I was very worried about this.Although
I had studied English in high school,in the past one year I was busy learning the
Korean and forgot practicing English.So I was very
nervous also very afraid of taking classes.
Now,this is my 3rd semester.I still couldn't speak English fluent,but I am trying
to learn and remember more vocabularies.Although English is my third language,it
is very important for me for the season that there are many important books in my major
are English-written.