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  • 誰能幫我判判作文?我下個月8號就要考雅思了.

    誰能幫我判判作文?我下個月8號就要考雅思了.
    劍橋四 第一篇作文
    我寫的:According to the table,there were different categories of families living in poverty in Austualia in1999.
    To sun up,there were 11%of the all husband living in the position deeply.It is about 1837000.It is noticeable that those consisting of only are parent or a single adult were more lakely to fall in trouble,with 21% and 19%.A common family and a family with no child was account for only 13% and 7%,which shands in marked contrast to then.
    It is chear from the chart the relationship between sigle and couple appear proportion.Single adults were 2 times than couples without children(7%).
    However,it didn't affect elder people too much.When they were not young,they were not to be poor.Single with 6%,and couple with 4%.
    In conclusion,children trend family a lot in the table until they were old.
    圖表作文,不同的人生活在貧困的比率。
    其他人氣:188 ℃時間:2020-05-13 04:25:04
    優(yōu)質(zhì)解答
    最基本的,詞數(shù)不滿150.
    有單詞拼寫錯誤,這是不能犯得錯誤吖.例如第二段開頭應(yīng)該是“to sum up”.
    to sum up應(yīng)該用在最后.
    時態(tài)應(yīng)用現(xiàn)在時.
    they were not to be poor是病句,應(yīng)把to be去掉.
    其它的.盡量找突出的數(shù)據(jù)例如最值點來陳述.還有,多用長難句.
    因為不知道題目,所以不能評價太多.這文章...應(yīng)該只有4.5.
    我來回答
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