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  • 幫我看看我的雅思作文,順便評一個(gè)分,很急!拜托、拜托!

    幫我看看我的雅思作文,順便評一個(gè)分,很急!拜托、拜托!
    題目:Some people think that children should not violate the rules set by teachers and parents, while others insist that natural development might be better for their adult life, what is your opinion.
    文章: Many hotly-debated issues have arisen in children’s education, one of which is whether children should abide by the rules set up by their parents and teachers. Views regarding this issue vary greatly from person to person.
    Some people hold the view that natural development is better for children’s further development. They argue that by the natural development children can do things what they really want to do. As a popular saying goes ‘interest is the best teacher.’ If children who are interested in doing something, such as studying math, playing a piano, sing or dancing, compared with those who are pushed to do, will do better. Also by growing naturally, children might become more independent than others and can handle the problem by themselves.
    Other people, however hole different view. They maintain that it is pivotal for children to obey the rules. They lend support to their view by pointing out the fact that it is not rarity to read some reports on the newspapers or magazines in term of juvenile delinquency. This phenomenon mainly attribute to the violation of rules set up by their parents and teachers. Children can not completely distinguish what they should and should not do in some extent. So what they really need is rules and guidance to avoid being influenced by their so-called friends or other people who have ulterior motivate.
    As far as I am concerned, natural development, of course, play a vital role in children’s adult life. Rules, however, are more important. As a great ideologist Mencius in ancient china once said that nothing can be accomplished without norms and standards. So, rules are of great importance in terms of children’s adult life.
    如果好的話加分!
    其他人氣:427 ℃時(shí)間:2020-09-20 11:05:41
    優(yōu)質(zhì)解答
    如果字?jǐn)?shù)符合這一題的要求的話,單從語言方面最少7分應(yīng)該是有了,8分以上應(yīng)該有希望但是從問題來看,他問作者的觀點(diǎn),你的文章中只有最后一段直接闡明了你的觀點(diǎn),我覺得這是雅思的大忌……中間兩段對兩種觀點(diǎn)的闡述會讓...
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