英語(yǔ)幽默笑話：
一：She Didn"t Say Anything
A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room.Suddenly,there was a crash of breaking dishes,then complete silence.
The girl looked at her father and said,“It was Mom”.
“How do you know?” asked her father.
“She didn"t say anything.”
二：I Have Turned It Over
A woman said to her husband,“dear,look at our sheet!It"s too dirty.Would you like to wash it now?”
The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said,“I don"t think it"s necessary.We can turn the sheet over.Is that all right?”
三、40 over Li lotus heart disease arises suddenly,is escorted to the hospital first aid.The condition extremely too bad,the Li lotus felt oneself nearly all already died.
In the rescue,the Li lotus has heard God's sound suddenly:"You cannot die,you also may live for 45 years 6 months 02 days,has the courage to go on living!"
Certainly,the result was the Li lotus miracle is revived.After the body recovers,the Li lotus thought oneself also can live for more than 40 years,then □has anxiously is leaving the hospital,first repairs the face,then makes up the lip,then is the prosperous chest,finally is the thin abdomen,continuously has undergone 4 cosmetology surgeries altogether,then was called the specialized hair stylist to visit the service,changed has sent the color,has made the new tide hairstyle,the entire stature looked at □the young several years old.
After last the reshaping surgery completes,the Li lotus then happily handled left the hospital the procedure,□thought actually the ambulance which rapidly 駛過(guò) by 撞死 in the entrance.
After the heaven,the Li lotus has been angry interrogates God:"Since you had said I also may live for 45 years,then you should not eat the word."
God awkwardly 聳了聳肩,replies:"Really is sorry,at that time,the vehicle hit when you......I have not recognized am you."
英語(yǔ)笑話這里面有的,可以看看：
英語(yǔ)幽默
雙關(guān)歇后語(yǔ)：
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師:為什么你每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當(dāng)我經(jīng)過(guò)學(xué)校的拐角處,僦看見(jiàn)一個(gè)牌子仩寫(xiě)著"學(xué)校----慢行".
Do You Know My Work?
One night a hotel caught fire,and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire,the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”
“You don't know my work,” said the other．
“What is your work?”
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh!” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman．
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
譯文：（自己簡(jiǎn)單翻譯）
你知道我是干什么的嗎?
一天晚上,一家旅館失火,住在這家旅館里的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來(lái).
兩個(gè)人站在外面,看著大火.
“在我出來(lái)之前,”其中一個(gè)說(shuō)：“我跑進(jìn)一些房間,找到了一大筆錢(qián).人在恐懼中是不會(huì)想到錢(qián)的.如果有人把紙幣留在火里,火就會(huì)把它燒成灰燼.所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了.沒(méi)有人會(huì)因?yàn)槲夷米咚鼈兌兊酶F.”
“你不知道我是干什么的.”另一個(gè)說(shuō).
“你是干什么的?”
“我是警察.”
“噢!”第一個(gè)人喊了一聲.他靈機(jī)一動(dòng),說(shuō)：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道.”警察說(shuō).
“我是個(gè)作家.我總是愛(ài)編一些從未發(fā)生過(guò)的故事.”
Who is the laziest
Father:Well,Jack,I talked with your teacher today .And now I want to ask you a question ,Who is the laziest person inyour class
Jack:I don`t know ,father.
Father:Oh,think!When other boys and girls are reading and wirting ,who sits quietly and only watch how other people word?
Jack:Our teacher ,father.