ER……base on 我以前大學(xué)做演講的經(jīng)驗(yàn),提幾個(gè)建議：
1.寫稿的時(shí)候可能經(jīng)常會(huì)寫長(zhǎng)句,但是真正講的時(shí)候,無(wú)論是演講人還是聽眾,還是短句比較合適.
2.雖然可能不是很正式場(chǎng)合的演講,但是還是要盡量避免wanna,gonna 這類口語(yǔ)化的詞語(yǔ).
3.這點(diǎn)是我老師告訴我的,盡量少用I think,in my opinion這類詞組,你發(fā)表的演講……肯定是表達(dá)自己的想法.
4.多用we少用you.這樣拉近和聽眾之間的距離.
5.不知道我有沒(méi)有猜對(duì),你寫的時(shí)候想到什么就寫什么,沒(méi)有經(jīng)過(guò)過(guò)濾……每一段究竟是在表達(dá)什么point,這點(diǎn)一定要考慮好.不然寫上去的字?jǐn)?shù)都是白費(fèi)功夫(如,你爸爸去馬爾代夫,跟你看到新聞以及環(huán)境保護(hù)有什么直接關(guān)系呢?)尤其到最后,感覺(jué)你思維很跳躍……
注意：你在第二段寫到自己focus的東西,究竟是什么呢?是前面寫到的I found the surroundings in our school are very beautiful嗎?第一段又寫到主題是Green school,wonderful future.你后面卻放大到全世界.這個(gè)topic是值得再重新斟酌的.
1.Good afternoon .First I am very happy to here to present this speech.Today,my topic is:” Green school,wonderful future”
2.So far,we’ve studied in Yanggao for almost 3 months.During the past 3 months,I found the surroundings in our school are very beautiful with large green area.Everyday,when I enter the school,the soft wind,the beautiful flowers and the tall trees really give me a perfect mood.I feel so comfortable in such a harmony atmosphere.And I believe most of you share the same feeling as I do.We do love our beautiful school,and just as our President says:” it is the best school in Shanghai,and even China.”
However,we have found that a few students always make damage to our school environment.Here I don’t want to say something like what they should do,as I believe they all know what they should do.They just don’t have the awareness of protecting the environment.They even don’t understand why they should protect the environment.
（以上是講學(xué)校的情況,下面放大到世界情況,需要過(guò)渡句.）
3.Unfortunately,many more people lack the conscious of environment protection.Nowadays,with the quick development of the world,environment protection also has become one of the hottest topics in the world.
Yesterday I found a piece of news reported that half of The Republic of Maldives might be submerged within 50 years.It really shocked me.I know because of the melt of the glacier in South Pole and North Pole,the sea level is rising and some of the cities will be submerged.But I never thought the day is just ahead of us.It is so terrible.We now all live in Shanghai.It is a city with a very low sea level.Can we imagine the day when Shanghai is submerged?Can we imagine the day we lost our hometown,our familiar school?Can we imagine the day there is no city named Shanghai in the future?It sounds ridiculous,but if we don’t take action,all these things may come true.
4.So,as a student,what should we do to save our home?The answer is:take action in the daily life!We can start from protecting our school environment.We Chinese are proud of our large population because as the saying goes:The more people,the more power.Through our co-effort,the environment of our school will be better and better,and our final goal ----to save our world,will realize.
That is all.Thank you for your time.
如果我有說(shuō)得不得當(dāng)?shù)牡胤?請(qǐng)多多包涵,希望你的演講成功!