My Role model 文章糾錯,用英文的 （包括兩方面,1是文章構造2是語法用詞之類） 要求800左右
My Role model
I have a dream,actually two dreams,which are closely related.My first dream is to go to America and learn dancing in a dancing school which is small but famous for a graduate,George Mingus who has played leading roles in the dance business.
George Mingus is from a ghetto in San Diego.He was small in his high school day,but had vitality as high as any other boys for playing basketball.He was a basketball club member.His friend in high school often said,”He can play as if he has four arms and four legs.” He could move faster than any other players then.
He was curious not just in basketball but in dancing his high school age.George asked his father if he can go to a school for dancing,but his family could not afford the school fee.He thought that he should have worked to make money for school,and stared his job as early as he graduated from high school.He found a hard but you could earn quite large money job and entered a dancing school a year later.
People could not have become famous dancer unless they had been in an expensive dancing school at that time.Otherwise,they should find a good dancing coach in New York City where a lot of people visit Broadway theaters.But George managed enter a cheap school in San Diego.
The more he practiced dancing hard,the more he got eager to be a better dancer.Finally,he was admitted of his dancing skills by a man who came to the school for scouting.He had become well known in a dance meet in California.Not only the teachers of his school and the scouting director were attracted by his energetic dancing and enthusiastic about dancing.The scout person promised George to take him to New York
是要糾錯的 這篇文章不是我寫的 是讓改錯的 文章全部都有錯 要用英文把這篇文章改正過來
主要分兩個問題來寫
第一，寫文章主要結構哪里不好，先指出來，在改正，并說明為什么。
第二，找一些小錯誤，比如文法，或用詞不當的，包括介詞不當，時態(tài)的錯誤等，先指出在改正，在說為什么
寫好的有追加分 我的分都追加了也可以 主要是著急 三樓的寫的不錯 有沒有更加完善的改錯的 要用英文寫的