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  • 幫忙修改作文 急 點評點評

    幫忙修改作文 急 點評點評
    我不再脆弱
    小草,在狂風(fēng)的“肅殺”中,學(xué)會了堅強;
    荷花,在暴雨的“襲擊”中,學(xué)會了堅強;
    落葉,在大風(fēng)的“摧殘”中,學(xué)會了堅強;
    梅花,在傲雪的“捶打”中,學(xué)會了堅強
    人生不如意事十有八九,殊不知在我們的人生旅途中,會遭遇一次又一次的衰敗,而那一次使我銘記在心,……在那次看似簡單的登長城旅途中,我學(xué)會了堅強,因為我不再脆弱……
    “不登長城非好漢,勇者不惜血與汗”.在這響徹云霄,震撼人心的宣誓中,我們邁(向)進了長城的第一步.與此同時,我想:我們也邁進了“夢的天堂”,邁進(向)了成功的第一步.
    嘴上說是(的)容易,可真要落實到行動中那可就難了.剛剛爬完一小節(jié)我就開始害怕了,有一種天旋地轉(zhuǎn)的感覺.腿也哆嗦起來,好像灌滿了鉛似的,怎么也抬不起來.兩只手緊緊的扶著欄桿,身子也蜷縮成了一團(與后面一句互換).此時的我像泄了氣的皮球,狼狽極了.大口大口的喘著粗氣,用迷茫的眼神看(仰望)一眼天空.只聽不知哪個方向傳來一聲:“剛爬到這就不成啦,我看你可以跟蝸牛媲美.哈哈,我先走嘍“.聽了他這番譏笑的話,我的心仿佛被無數(shù)針扎了似的疼,心想:別人能做得到,我也同樣能做到.我剛剛抬起腳,卻刮起了大風(fēng),此時的風(fēng)像一張浩大的手,想把我這只“小螞蟻”從這萬丈深淵中推下去,嚇得我毛骨悚然,又把剛剛抬起的腳收了回來.過了一會兒,不知怎么回事,我的腦海中突然閃現(xiàn)出一位老者的形象.他雖年邁但還努力登著長城,慚愧像野草一樣在我心中蔓延.于是,我一鼓作氣地登上了長城的最頂端.
    我做到了……我做到了……心中猶如海浪沖擊巖石般澎湃,久久不能平靜.云朵仿佛在向我招手,風(fēng)兒仿佛在為我歌唱……山頂?shù)娘L(fēng)是這么的飄逸,這么的爽颯.我好想哭啊!任憑淚水在我眼眶里打轉(zhuǎn),但不久后風(fēng)兒把它吹干了,它想讓我不再脆弱!
    我要做一棵小草,讓春天聽到我的呼喚;
    我要做一枝荷花,讓夏天聞到我的氣息;
    我要做一片落葉,讓秋天感到我的“活力”;
    我要做一株梅花,讓冬天看到我的傲骨;
    活出生命的本色,我不再脆弱.因為我選擇了堅強!
    英語人氣:412 ℃時間:2020-04-01 00:05:58
    優(yōu)質(zhì)解答
    我不再脆弱
    小草,在狂風(fēng)的“肅殺”中,學(xué)會了堅強;
    荷花,在暴雨的“襲擊”中,學(xué)會了堅強;
    落葉,在大風(fēng)的“摧殘”中,學(xué)會了堅強;
    梅花,在傲雪的“捶打”中,學(xué)會了堅強
    人生不如意事十有八九,殊不知在我們的人生旅途中,會遭遇一次又一次的衰敗,而那一次使我銘記在心,……在那次看似簡單的登長城旅途中,我學(xué)會了堅強,因為我不再脆弱……
    “不登長城非好漢,勇者不惜血與汗”.在這響徹云霄,震撼人心的宣誓中,我們邁(向)進了長城的第一步.與此同時,我想:我們也邁進了“夢的天堂”,邁進(向)了成功的第一步.
    嘴上說是(的)容易,可真要落實到行動中那可就難了.剛剛爬完一小節(jié)我就開始害怕了,有一種天旋地轉(zhuǎn)的感覺.腿也哆嗦起來,好像灌滿了鉛似的,怎么也抬不起來.兩只手緊緊的扶著欄桿,身子也蜷縮成了一團(與后面一句互換).此時的我像泄了氣的皮球,狼狽極了.大口大口的喘著粗氣,用迷茫的眼神看(仰望)一眼天空.只聽不知哪個方向傳來一聲:“剛爬到這就不成啦,太遜了吧!我看你可以跟蝸牛媲美.哈哈,我先走嘍“.聽了他這番譏笑的話,我的心仿佛被無數(shù)針扎了似的疼,心想:別人能做得到,我也同樣能做到.我剛剛抬起腳,卻刮起了大風(fēng),此時的風(fēng)像一張浩大的手,想把我這只“小螞蟻”從這萬丈深淵中推下去,嚇得我毛骨悚然,又把剛剛抬起的腳收了回來.過了一會兒,不知怎么回事,我的腦海中突然閃現(xiàn)出一位老者的形象.他雖年邁但還努力登著長城,慚愧像野草一樣在我心中蔓延.于是,我一鼓作氣地登上了長城的最頂端.
    哦,我做到了……我做到了……心中猶如海浪沖擊巖石般澎湃,久久不能平靜.云朵仿佛在向我招手,風(fēng)兒仿佛在為我歌唱……山頂?shù)娘L(fēng)是這么的飄逸,這么的爽颯.我好想哭啊!任憑淚水在我眼眶里打轉(zhuǎn),但不久后風(fēng)兒把它吹干了,它想讓我不再脆弱!
    我要做一棵小草,讓春天聽到我的呼喚;
    我要做一枝荷花,讓夏天聞到我的氣息;
    我要做一片落葉,讓秋天感到我的“活力”;
    我要做一株梅花,讓冬天看到我的傲骨;
    活出生命的本色,我不再脆弱.因為我選擇了堅強!
    I no longer fragile
    Grass in the wind "chill",the firm learned;
    Lotus,heavy rain in the "attacks",the firm learned;
    Fallen leaves in the wind "destroyed",the firm learned;
    Plum Blossom in the Ao-xue "thump",the Institute of strong
    Had a rough life,in all likelihood things,they did not know in our life,will encounter again and again decline,and the first time I remember,at that ......Deng Changcheng appears to be a simple journey,I learned how strong Because I am no longer vulnerable ......
    "Deng Changcheng non-Men,not hesitate to brave the blood and sweat." In that Xiangcheyunxiao,stirring oath,we take a step (to) the first step into the Great Wall.At the same time,I would like to:we have entered a "dream of paradise," forward (to) a successful first step.
    Said to be talking about (the) easy,really want to put into operation,it can be difficult.Pawan just one section,I began to fear,there is a sense of Descent.Legs are shaking,as if filled with a lead like that is also how could not lift.Two hands firmly held on to the railing,the body also has become a mass of curled (with the back of an exchange).At this point I would like to vent the gas in a balloon,very embarrassed.The Taikoudakou Chuanzhuocuqi,confused eyes to see (look) at a glance the sky.I do not know from which direction only heard loud:"This is not just climb it,too it's a!I think you can match with a snail.Ha ha,I am ahead of myself." He listened to sneer at this,my heart was as if the countless needle sticks like pain,thinking:someone else is able to do that,I can do the same.I just raised his foot,but a strong wind blowing,this time the wind like a huge hand,I want this "little ant" from the abyss in pushing it,I am horrified scared,just up again Feet resumed.After a while,I do not know how going on,my mind suddenly flashed an old man's image.He was old but also to the board of the Great Wall,ashamed like weeds in my heart,like the spread.As a result,I boarded the big bang to the top of the Great Wall.
    Oh,I did it I did ............as if the hearts of the impact of waves surging rock,can not be quiet for a long time.In the clouds as if waving to me,as if the winds singing for me ......the peak of the wind is so elegant,so cool the sound of wind.I want to Kua!Despite the tears in my eyes around,it shortly after the winds blow,I am not going to let it vulnerable!
    I want to be a grass,so I heard the call of spring;
    I want to be a lotus,so that summer I smell the air;
    I want to be a fallen leaf,so I am in the fall of the "vitality";
    I want to be a plum,so I can see the characters in the winter;
    Live out the true nature of life,I no longer vulnerable.I chose strong!
    多處運用了排比句,語言優(yōu)美.
    Multiple use of the sentence parallelism,the beautiful language.
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