1should or not provide改為should provide or not 較為順口,不信你念一下試試?
2 closely with 改成 bound up with ,這是因?yàn)閏losely with比較“適合”初中生用…………
4 which closely related with 作為定語從句,顯然少了一個(gè)謂語is,如果不使用定語從句的話,直接把which去掉就ok
5 to some extent在同一篇文章里使用兩次,顯得不妥,考慮一下in some degree,或者in some sense怎么樣?
6 should be considered in society換成should be considered in an overall social needs’ angle（以一種全面的社會(huì)需求的角度去思考）
7 performance with their further practices既然用了with,那么with前后的兩個(gè)詞,最好對(duì)等,所以要么performance加上s,要么practices去掉s
8 have better understanding of them.換成develop abetter understanding of themselves.這個(gè)a是不能少的,那個(gè)them換成themselves比較好一點(diǎn)（純屬個(gè)人感覺）
9 the lessons “the ways to succeed”單復(fù)數(shù)不匹配,可以考慮這樣改正those courses such as“the ways to succeed”,或者the course “the way to succeed”
10 students` self-censorship and self-discipline are required.看起來比較“干”,可以這樣潤(rùn)色：students` self-censorship and self-discipline are tremendouslyindispensable.或者students` self-censorship and self-discipline are tremendously entailed!
類似的句子有：It is still a controversial issue ,可以這樣改：It is still an exceedingly controversial issue
11 the main function and responsibility of the university is to instruct student’s knowledge.中的main換成dominant（雅思是比較high level的,最好用一些顯得很厲害的詞,那些人人都會(huì)用的begood at ,very much ,expert 等等最好別用……） ,the換成an, instruct student’s knowledge（有點(diǎn)語法錯(cuò)誤,看不懂）換成instruct the studentsto acquire volumes ofknowledge in all fields as vast as possilbe,這樣改的好處是與您下文提到的expand students` horizon正好呼應(yīng)
12 university always play中的play加一個(gè)s
13adapt to是固定搭配,而不是adapt for ,所以adapt better for the future society改成 adapt themselvesbetter to the increasingly competitive society in the future
14 it is imperative to university改成it is imperative for an university
15人人都會(huì)“All in all”,老師都快睡著了……倒不如換成altogether
16 it can be rationally drawing the conclusion that universities should instruct graduates knowledge這句話有三個(gè)地方可以改進(jìn),第一：語法有誤,it can be rationally drawing the conclusion that universities should instruct graduates knowledge當(dāng)中it是形式主語,can be 是謂語,be后面應(yīng)該是形容詞作為表語,而不是副詞rationally,第二,rationally用了兩次,顯得你詞匯量不夠豐富,老師會(huì)犯暈的,換成advisable,第三instruct graduates knowledge用了兩次,顯得不夠flexible,換一換吧：shepherd/direct the graduates to accumulate more knowledge essential to be superior when rivaling the others!
改完再加100分
改完再加100分
這是題目Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace.Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake,regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.
What,in your opinion,should be the main function of a university?
正文
It is still a controversial issue that whether universities should or not provide graduates sufficient working skills and knowledge which closely related with their future career.Of vital importance is,in my view,to analyze both of these arguments rationally.
To some extent,knowledge and skills needed in workplace should be considered in society.Universities should establish some institutions that connect students` performance with their further practices.Specifically,some groups could be set up in order to organize the students to participate the real social internship programs.Moreover,the pedagogical methodologies should be updated to guide graduates to have better understanding of them.For instance,the lessons “the ways to succeed” could be instructed by tutors under certain content.Lastly,both learning and practicing should be taken into account,which means,students` self-censorship and self-discipline are required.
It seems like reasonable to some extent,the main function and responsibility of the university is to instruct student’s knowledge.But it is by no means a well-being definition to university.Admittedly,university always play a pivotal role during education period,so as is why it need to shoulder more responsibility on how to expand students` horizon,more importantly,to remold students in order to adapt better for the future society.Thus,it is imperative to university to educate the students in multiple angles rather than do it in monotonous ways.
All in all,it can be rationally drawing the conclusion that universities should instruct graduates knowledge and skills for them to be prepared for highly competitive social circumstance.In that case,the higher employment pressure given rise by the crucial society will not exist so seriously any more.
這是題目Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace.Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake,regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.
What,in your opinion,should be the main function of a university?
正文
It is still a controversial issue that whether universities should or not provide graduates sufficient working skills and knowledge which closely related with their future career.Of vital importance is,in my view,to analyze both of these arguments rationally.
To some extent,knowledge and skills needed in workplace should be considered in society.Universities should establish some institutions that connect students` performance with their further practices.Specifically,some groups could be set up in order to organize the students to participate the real social internship programs.Moreover,the pedagogical methodologies should be updated to guide graduates to have better understanding of them.For instance,the lessons “the ways to succeed” could be instructed by tutors under certain content.Lastly,both learning and practicing should be taken into account,which means,students` self-censorship and self-discipline are required.
It seems like reasonable to some extent,the main function and responsibility of the university is to instruct student’s knowledge.But it is by no means a well-being definition to university.Admittedly,university always play a pivotal role during education period,so as is why it need to shoulder more responsibility on how to expand students` horizon,more importantly,to remold students in order to adapt better for the future society.Thus,it is imperative to university to educate the students in multiple angles rather than do it in monotonous ways.
All in all,it can be rationally drawing the conclusion that universities should instruct graduates knowledge and skills for them to be prepared for highly competitive social circumstance.In that case,the higher employment pressure given rise by the crucial society will not exist so seriously any more.
其他人氣：464 ℃時(shí)間：2020-08-01 02:19:05
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