My dream ended when I was born.Although I never knew it then,I just held on to something that would never come to pass.Dreams really do exist.But in the morning when you wake up,they are remembered just as a dream.That is what happened to me.
I always have the dream to dance like a beautiful ballerina twirling around and around and hearing people applaud for me.When I was young,I would twirling around and around in the fields of wildflowers that grew in my backyard.For hours I would dance as if people were watching me.I would dance so fast that I would forget where I was,until I would hear sounds that reminded me of where I really was.I thought that if I twirled faster everything would disappear and I would wake up in a new place.Reality woke me up when I heard a voice saying,"I don't know why you bother trying to dance.Ballerinas are pretty,slender little girls.Besides,you don't have the talent to even be a ballerina." I remember how those words paralyzed every feeling in my body.I feel to the ground and wept for hours.
We lived in the country by a nearby lake and I would sometimes go there to hide.My parents were never home anyway and I did not like to be at home where I could hear the walls talking of pain.When they were home,my mother just yelled and criticized because nothing was ever perfect in her life.She dreamed of a different life but ended up living in a country far away from the city where she believed her dreams would have come true.I enjoyed hanging out by the water.I would sit there for hours and stare at my reflection.There I was,looked nothing like a pretty ballerina dancer.Reflections don't lie.Once the waves would come,my reflection was gone.Washed away just like my dream to dance.I sat there staring at the water,hoping that my reflection would reappear and be different.
As I grew older,I began to realize that the reason my dream was even born in the first place,was because it was something that was inside of me.The dream I had was never nurtured and cared for,so it slowly died.It's not that I wanted it to die,but I allowed it to die the day I started listening to the words,"You can't do it." When I finally woke up from many years of dreaming,I realized that you can't settle for dancing in the wildflowers,you have to move on to the platform.I still go to the lake sometimes and sit there.Looking at my reflection is different now too.When I was young,I looked at how others saw me,now that I am older and wiser; I look at how God sees me