The writer in the showplace in the last week.（缺謂語(yǔ)） A young man and a young women behind him.（缺謂語(yǔ)） they were talking too loudly for writer to enjoy the play.（to的邏輯主語(yǔ)應(yīng)該與too的相同,這里不同,作者本意想要使to的邏輯主語(yǔ)成為writer） So the write turned round and said that I can not hear a word.（can應(yīng)該改為could） But ,to him（改為his,to one's surprise 固定搭配） surprise,the young man said that it is none of your business.It is a private conversation.（這里最好不要用that從句,犯了時(shí)態(tài)與前面不一致,代詞指代不清的錯(cuò)誤.改為引號(hào)引用）
The writer never get up(gets up) early on Sunday.So last Sunday he also got up very late.When he had breakfast his aunt called with him said that I arrived by train and come to see you.（when與過(guò)去完成時(shí)態(tài)矛盾.when的意思是從句與主句同時(shí)發(fā)生,過(guò)去完成時(shí)又是說(shuō)這個(gè)動(dòng)作發(fā)生在另一個(gè)過(guò)去動(dòng)作之前.） But the writer's（所有格錯(cuò)誤） told her I（缺BE動(dòng)詞was） having breakfast.The writer's aunt is very surprise and said do you always so late?It is one o'olock.
整片文章時(shí)態(tài)混亂,有時(shí)用現(xiàn)在時(shí)有時(shí)用過(guò)去時(shí),應(yīng)該統(tǒng)一.