修改的地方我會做標(biāo)注,你自己看要不要用
Good morning
today i'm honoured to have this opportunity to introduce to you about myself（這句話有點(diǎn)怪,不過我暫時(shí)想不出怎么改,就把today放到句子的最后邊把,不然有中國式英語的嫌疑）
my name is liushen ,I am a lovely girl ,i was born in qingdao ,and i love qingdao(地名人名要大寫,改成Liushen和Qingdao)
（在這里加上：I spent all my life in Qingdao,until three years ago 接上你下別寫的,這樣比較連貫）
3 years ago ,i went to jinan（同上,首字母大寫） （寫上你去濟(jì)南干什么了,比如說I spent three academic years in XXX university,it was a wonderful experience.之類的）.（另起一句）Now ,as a graduate of the e-professional students （不知道e-professional 你要是說網(wǎng)絡(luò)專家之類的可以說IT expert） ,i couldn't (wouldn't 改成couldn't) find (found 改成find,不用重復(fù)過去是)a job that suits my interests( suitable for me 改成suits my interests比較通順),i think i still need to work harder（some studying 改成 to work harder）to improve myself (my quality 改成myself,quality 一詞真的沒法表達(dá)什么)
i(所有I要大寫,另外我把in my spare time給刪了,沒什么用,加了'also')also have a lot of hobbies
i love to listen to(加to) music （可以加上你喜歡什么音樂比如說 especially...jazz阿 rock 阿 R&B阿都可以）,and as well as reading.
i have a harmony family (我知道你想說什么,但是一般英文里沒有這一說,你想寫就把harmony 變成harmonious,語法錯(cuò)誤.)
（全刪了,這句比較不通順.我自己編了一點(diǎn)點(diǎn),不過退休的老人做的一般都是這些事吧?）My parents are retired and they love to just relax and have fun with their friends.
（也全刪了）My parents are sweet and they love me very much.They forgive the mistakes i made and they always give me undivided attention and would always help me solve problems i encounter in life.
I cherish the little things in my life and sometimes I feel I'm such a lucky person to be able to love my parents and receive love from them!
Thank you.
鞠躬,下臺.