Across the world many sports have their own characteristics,but many of these sports have similar attributes.Entertaining is one of the attributes that people can relax and decrease stress.Besides entertaining,more important is playing sports can teach us how to work as a team,and how to win and make choice in our life.首先第一段開頭就不是很好,完全看不出來你在回答題目的問題,可以更直接些說sports teach了人們什么事情.比如說:I totally agree with the statement that .說自己認為sports教會人們很多很多的事情.最后說咱就說幾點最重要的方面,然后列出來這幾點.
接下來,就可以展開說明了.第二段,論點不錯,但是英語水平可以看出來,基礎(chǔ)不扎實,表達不準確,咱是中國人,看懂你想說啥了.改卷老師就困難了.語法啊,還是有不少錯誤的,感覺每句話都有~
第三段,語法啊.我給你稍微改下吧:Besides,we learn to be persistent by playing sports.(不給你改動句子了.)第二句要倒裝啊~否定的放在前面嘛~not all sports can we finish in a short time.還有only by finishing this long distance we can win.也要倒裝的,can we win.后面還有語法錯誤我就不一一指出來了~
第四段,這我只想說一點錯誤,其他的前面都有說過,你是在說sports,所以最好改成:sometime,playing sports is like choosing a job.是拿choosing a job 來比較sports的~想一下,別饒暈了·~
總的來說,語法錯誤真的不少,這樣的文章分數(shù)我不用說了,直接看OG就可以自己判斷出來了的·~感覺,好像是高中生的作文,如果是高中生的話~那恭喜樓主~思維不錯,已經(jīng)有了寫托福作文的思路了~平時注重下語法~
語法如果都不對的話,老師是肯定看不懂的~這不是平時生活中哦~
請幫忙批改一篇托福獨立作文
請幫忙批改一篇托福獨立作文
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:Playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life.
Across the world many sports have their own characteristics,but many of these sports have similar attributes.Entertaining is one of the attributes that people can relax and decrease stress.Besides entertaining,more important is playing sports can teach us how to work as a team,and how to win and make choice in our life.
To begin with,playing sports can teach us how to cooperate with others.Some sports need to build a team.In the team,our heart must hold together so that we can beat other teams and in the process,we learn to cooperate.In the case of basketball,a basketball team consists of many people.In a match,if everyone just used their own methods and not think about others they must the loser.They just use one method that they think out together and cooperate with others in the team they can win the match.So playing sports teaches us the lesson of cooperation.
Besides,we learn persistence in the process.Not all sports we can finish in a short time.For instance,the marathon is one sport which needs a long time and strong perseverance.A marathon is a long distance race and only by finishing this long distance we can win.It is impossible for a person who lacks perseverance to run the complete distance.Even if you are so tired and there remains just one meter which you did not finish you also failed.So during the marathon,as long as we insist on running completing the total distance can we win,even if sometimes we are so tired that we want to give up.This is another lesson that we learn from playing sports.
Finally,playing sports can teach us how to choose the thing that is proper us to do.Sometimes,choosing a job is like playing sports.We have to choose the job that is within the range of our ability.Playing sports is like this,such as a short distance race requires a person who is healthy and no heart disease.A cardiac patient needs to choose other sports which have no effects on his heart to keep fit.So in the process of choosing sports to keep fit we can learn how to choose the thing which is suitable for us.
All in all,playing sports is beneficial thing.It teaches us how to cooperate with others and how to adhere to do anything.Most important is that it teaches us how to choose in our life which helps us to adapt to life better.So we must to play sports in our daily life because it is a good teacher for our life.
.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:Playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life.
Across the world many sports have their own characteristics,but many of these sports have similar attributes.Entertaining is one of the attributes that people can relax and decrease stress.Besides entertaining,more important is playing sports can teach us how to work as a team,and how to win and make choice in our life.
To begin with,playing sports can teach us how to cooperate with others.Some sports need to build a team.In the team,our heart must hold together so that we can beat other teams and in the process,we learn to cooperate.In the case of basketball,a basketball team consists of many people.In a match,if everyone just used their own methods and not think about others they must the loser.They just use one method that they think out together and cooperate with others in the team they can win the match.So playing sports teaches us the lesson of cooperation.
Besides,we learn persistence in the process.Not all sports we can finish in a short time.For instance,the marathon is one sport which needs a long time and strong perseverance.A marathon is a long distance race and only by finishing this long distance we can win.It is impossible for a person who lacks perseverance to run the complete distance.Even if you are so tired and there remains just one meter which you did not finish you also failed.So during the marathon,as long as we insist on running completing the total distance can we win,even if sometimes we are so tired that we want to give up.This is another lesson that we learn from playing sports.
Finally,playing sports can teach us how to choose the thing that is proper us to do.Sometimes,choosing a job is like playing sports.We have to choose the job that is within the range of our ability.Playing sports is like this,such as a short distance race requires a person who is healthy and no heart disease.A cardiac patient needs to choose other sports which have no effects on his heart to keep fit.So in the process of choosing sports to keep fit we can learn how to choose the thing which is suitable for us.
All in all,playing sports is beneficial thing.It teaches us how to cooperate with others and how to adhere to do anything.Most important is that it teaches us how to choose in our life which helps us to adapt to life better.So we must to play sports in our daily life because it is a good teacher for our life.
.
其他人氣:612 ℃時間:2020-04-30 01:03:22
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