看了一哈,我就隨便說(shuō)兩句吧.我是搞數(shù)學(xué)的不妥之處諒解.
1.開(kāi)頭的it is equally acceptable for men and women to stay have,我總覺(jué)得men or women(即and改成or)順口點(diǎn),你的stay have是不是stay home?
2.I have to say,in my opinoin,women should do……,總覺(jué)得前面有個(gè)in my opinoin了,這里又來(lái)一個(gè)in my opinoin有種重復(fù)感覺(jué).就說(shuō)I have to say women should do……,或I want to say women should do……
3.就接著上面說(shuō)的句后面,即women should do the major of house work and looking baby for most time,major是形容詞,就直接major house work啦,去掉of吧;后面looking baby似有不妥,照顧小孩應(yīng)用短語(yǔ)look after,前面的動(dòng)詞do就沒(méi)有用ing形式,這里look也不用吧.我覺(jué)得most time前面加個(gè)the順口點(diǎn),感覺(jué)而已.
4.接下來(lái),你那句but because of being a mother,they were born konwing more about baby……,你想說(shuō)的是女人作為母親,天生就比男人更會(huì)照料小孩,天生的或注定要成為的短語(yǔ)是be born to,所以應(yīng)改為they were born to konw more about baby……
5.Sometimes it's ridiculous for a man to look for a baby,這句又是“照料”這個(gè)短語(yǔ),look for是尋找,應(yīng)look after.
6.第六個(gè)不敢亂說(shuō),但我總感覺(jué)I don't mean this "job" is awful but it will troubles a lot這句,will改成would好聽(tīng)些,兩者區(qū)別一時(shí)我也說(shuō)不出來(lái).
7.第6點(diǎn)后面跟著的as I know,你是另一句開(kāi)頭了,as前面是點(diǎn)號(hào),as大寫(xiě)As.
8.跟著句子后面來(lái)了個(gè)“,and at the end,”,我認(rèn)為應(yīng)該改為in the end,最后的意思,in the end 相當(dāng)于 at last,finnaly,是副詞.at the end通常后邊要跟上其它成分,即完整的形式是:at the end of sth,意思是"在...的末尾,在...結(jié)束的時(shí)候".
9.繼續(xù)看走,你“mothers even did more than before”,你全篇用的是現(xiàn)在式,我認(rèn)為那個(gè)did改為do吧.
10.繼續(xù)看走,跟著的“it really matters a lot”,it大寫(xiě)為It
11.繼續(xù)看走,“To be honest,Being a men,”坦率誠(chéng)懇地說(shuō),作為一個(gè)男人,作為“一個(gè)”男人,應(yīng)該與men矛盾,你后面用的是women,那men不動(dòng),我認(rèn)為去掉a吧.
12.our home ,our career,our familiers的“家庭”單詞打錯(cuò),應(yīng)families.families后加點(diǎn)句號(hào),后面跟著的we大寫(xiě).
13.繼續(xù)看走,你的we have to face kinds of problem,“kinds of”是各種各樣的,那問(wèn)題煩惱應(yīng)該多,所以problem加s用復(fù)數(shù).
14.繼續(xù)看走,你的perfect enough to take all things on our shoulders,我總覺(jué)得all things中加個(gè)the,即all the things.
15.繼續(xù)看走,后面跟著的 we have a saying like this,我喜歡用There is a saying
16.也是我的最后了,In one word,I just want to say,我讀到這里建議干脆把“I just want to say”刪掉,上面的大段全部都是你說(shuō)的,你到這里來(lái)個(gè)總之我僅僅想說(shuō),聽(tīng)起不舒服,建議而已,你再讀一哈感覺(jué).