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  • 雅思小作文,曲線的,求批改,求指錯(cuò)

    雅思小作文,曲線的,求批改,求指錯(cuò)
    謝謝各位大牛及烤鴨同路人!
    The line graph illustrates the death rate and the birth rate in a developing country between 1900 to 1970.
    It is clearly that at the first decade(1900~1910) both death rate and birth rate kept 40%,after which the data shows a fluctuation.The death rate rose rapidly and finally peaked up at 60% in 1920.Then,it dropped down as a same speed when it rose and stopped till 1940.from the period 1940 to 1970,death rate maintained a slight fluctuation.
    Coming to the birth rate,a slight decrease from 4o% in 1900 to 35% in 1930.From then on ,the birth rate surpassed to the death rate and reached the highest point(roughly 50%) in 1940,while death rate were showed the lowest.After a sharp raise the tendency became decline and moderation.And the rates in birth and death stood at 30% and 20% in 1970,respectively.
    Overall,along with the country developed in 70 years,its death rate and birth rate changed a lot and turned to be better in the future.What’s more,the birth rate finally higher than the death rate.
    其他人氣:386 ℃時(shí)間:2020-06-23 19:59:22
    優(yōu)質(zhì)解答
    剛考完第二次,看到烤鴨戰(zhàn)友格外親切.因?yàn)闆]見到題,所以就您的習(xí)作本身說一下吧,由于本身能力有限,如果有漏的地方或者您有疑惑的地方,你可以追問,我一定盡力解答.
    1、clear是形容詞,clearly是副詞,it is 后面應(yīng)該是形容詞.
    2、本文是過去時(shí),shows應(yīng)改為showed.
    3、peak本身就是最高的意思,所以不用加at,或者改為shot up.
    4、 “it dropped down as a same speed ” as是不是應(yīng)該改成at?后面的冠詞用the,而不是a.
    5、“the period 1940 ” 中的period后面有of.
    6、“were showed”,我覺得showed就夠了,were刪了吧,還是您是想表示被動(dòng)嗎?
    7、lowest后面應(yīng)該有名詞,不能單用一個(gè)最高級.
    8、“ What’s more, the birth rate finally higher than the death rate” 缺少謂語動(dòng)詞,finally前加個(gè)were.
    希望對您有所幫助,預(yù)祝雅思考試順利!
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