首先,從審題來看:
問題討論的是,從小學開始學外語是否好過從中學開始學外語,你的文章寫的重點是是否應該從小學學外語(除了這句話以外,基本沒有比較過中學跟小學學外語的優(yōu)缺點啦.Children who were impart alanguage at primary schools could more likely to accept it when comparied with those study at secondary schools.),這個文章整篇就是偏題的啦.這個問題嚴重啊.建議你可以嘗試畫框,分別列兩邊的優(yōu)缺點再寫,這樣就可以保證至少不離題,不偏題啦.
其次,從邏輯方面來說:
你的第一段的觀點到第二點的觀點過度很突兀.看你第一段的時候,覺得你認為是應該早點學,突然到第二點的時候,變成了缺點一堆的說明,所以,建議你第一段里邊直接表明觀點,你可以在陳述完第一個觀點后,加多一句表明你自己的觀點的話, which I strongly support,之類的.反正是要表明觀點.到第二點的時候,是轉(zhuǎn)折的話,請加上你的表示轉(zhuǎn)折的詞.
第三段的時候,你的第一句話,the idea指代是錯誤的,根據(jù)第一句,也就是說the idea指代的是第二個觀點,誰知道你寫下來的是第一個觀點.邏輯很混亂啊.如果你不知道如何知道的話,你干脆直接寫明觀點的內(nèi)容,這樣的話就可以避免了.
其次,語言上邊:
1.你要多注意一些固定詞組的搭配,比如說 become a significant burden of him or her,burden to sb才是正確的用法哦,不是of sb哦.
2.名詞的單復數(shù),a variety of negative atitude,這個attitude應該是復數(shù)哦.
3.動詞的應用, could more likely to accept it,likely的話,應該是be likely to,所以,你如果用could的話,也應該是could be more likely哦,這個你也可以當作是固定搭配啦.especially take the trend of globalization into consideration.這個應該是, taking the trend啊,作為狀語啊.
類似的問題就等你自己慢慢按照這些原則來核對啦.當然,用詞可以再提高一下,不過你得先把這三個基本問題搞定了,再來說用更好的詞表達自己的意思.
雅思加油啦~~第一段到第二段經(jīng)您這么一說確實挺別扭,還有那幾個搭配。這個作文您覺得考試可以得多少分呢?5.5分吧~~
雅思作文
雅思作文
Topic:Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
We used to impart a foreign language to children when they attend a secondary school.Presently,a prevalent new view point is that
there are a number of positive outcomes if a student start to learn a foreigh language from primary school.
The drawbacks of studying a second language early are multifarious.To start with,an elementary school student should be given more freedom,that is to say,studying a language might become a significant burden of him or her.As a consequence,a variety of negative
atitude(i.e.afraid of attending school and even get bored of everyting) could be triggered due to the situation.Moreover,primary
school teachers are rarely obtained a special trainnig for teaching a language,so that they are probably not professional and their
student might be misled and get wrong knowledge.
However,the idea has also gainned numerous advocates,for the sake of the following reasons.To learn a language from childhood is more rational according to several science researches.More specifically,children who were impart a language at primary schools could more likely to accept it when comparied with those study at secondary schools.Additionally,studying a language is a long-term
objective which needs us to devote ourselves into it for dozens of years.Which means,the earlier we learn it,the more skilled
language we will have.
All in all,I hold the opinion that the children are spposed to learn a foreign language from attending primary school.Admittedly there are
plenty of pros and cons for this issue,I believe the former prevails over the latter.As a college student,I totally understand the
importance of a foreign language,especially take the trend of globalization into consideration
Topic:Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
We used to impart a foreign language to children when they attend a secondary school.Presently,a prevalent new view point is that
there are a number of positive outcomes if a student start to learn a foreigh language from primary school.
The drawbacks of studying a second language early are multifarious.To start with,an elementary school student should be given more freedom,that is to say,studying a language might become a significant burden of him or her.As a consequence,a variety of negative
atitude(i.e.afraid of attending school and even get bored of everyting) could be triggered due to the situation.Moreover,primary
school teachers are rarely obtained a special trainnig for teaching a language,so that they are probably not professional and their
student might be misled and get wrong knowledge.
However,the idea has also gainned numerous advocates,for the sake of the following reasons.To learn a language from childhood is more rational according to several science researches.More specifically,children who were impart a language at primary schools could more likely to accept it when comparied with those study at secondary schools.Additionally,studying a language is a long-term
objective which needs us to devote ourselves into it for dozens of years.Which means,the earlier we learn it,the more skilled
language we will have.
All in all,I hold the opinion that the children are spposed to learn a foreign language from attending primary school.Admittedly there are
plenty of pros and cons for this issue,I believe the former prevails over the latter.As a college student,I totally understand the
importance of a foreign language,especially take the trend of globalization into consideration
其他人氣:267 ℃時間:2020-04-06 04:41:48
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