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  • 14年10月18日雅思大作文,求評分及理由,

    14年10月18日雅思大作文,求評分及理由,
    It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about the culture of other people.We can learn as much as from books,films and internet.to what extent do you agree or disagree?
    作文如下:
    While I agree that much information about other cultures can be gained from books,movies and on-line resources,I think travelling is still necessary for us to understand other cultures and enhance our cultural awareness.
    It is true that we can learn much about other cultures from books,films and internet resources.For example,travelling guide books are among the best sellers at many bookstores.Some movie documentaries also provide detailed information about different cultures in different parts of the world.We can also gain much information from on-line travelling websites about the local culture in our travelling destination.These resources are better accessible to most people.
    However,vicarious experience gained from books,films or the internet cannot replace travelling and experiencing other cultures first-hand.For example,one important element of culture is diet.Without trying the local cuisine,we would lose an important portion of culture.Moreover,face-to face communication plays an essential role in facilitating understanding of different cultures.It is often suggested that visitors should visit the local community and try to make friends with the local people.They should also try to learn some basic local language to improve communication with the local people.Another advantage of travelling is that it provides us with many opportunities to participate in the cultural activities in the local place,for example,joining the wedding party in a village or playing games and sports with local people.Culture is an important element of social practice and it must be performed in person rather than by imagination.
    In conclusion,I admit that books,films and internet resources are helpful for people to learn about other cultures,but still they are only beneficial supplement and not competent substitute for traveling if we really want to gain deeper understandings about other cultures.
    其他人氣:871 ℃時間:2020-05-24 01:25:13
    優(yōu)質(zhì)解答
    我覺得首段和尾段觀點很清晰,每段句首的中心句的使用也不錯,+
    論證:第二段,一般,表達上其實沒什么問題,但是你只不過分項說了不同渠道可以給提供信息,其實還不如整合了一起講,然后談?wù)勈悄男┬畔?如:
    There is no doubt that much can be learned about various cultures from books,TV programs and websites nowadays that provide detailed information about local customs,architectures,food,arts and sports .
    第三段中心句的表達應(yīng)做一些變化了,而不是一直重復(fù)books,films,internet.(這跟第二段幾乎一樣).論證上雖然算有層次,但感覺力度一般,而且次序可以調(diào)整一下以體現(xiàn)力度.比如直接接觸和交流再加上實地觀察可以放第一個比詳論之,之后再論其他點.
    如:However,the second-hand experience obtained from reading books or watching TV can never be the same as what one sees and experiences in person..
    由于時間關(guān)系無法展開太多.不過看得出來你的英語功底是在的,語法及拼寫錯誤算挺少的.在有限的時間里能寫到以上的那些點也已經(jīng)不錯了.
    綜上,我預(yù)測你的寫作分數(shù)不出意外的話會是:6-6.5,如果大方點可看到7,嚴厲點的話5.5也是有可能.不過5.5的話,可能問題是在于你的詞匯量的點綴不夠漂亮(因為高頻句型你用得很明顯)以及論證地不夠力度.不過考官審稿的時間也不長,除非非常老練否則也不見得那么仔細.所以預(yù)計是6-6.5最后.
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