文章結(jié)構(gòu)有待改善,扣題不是很緊.第二段寫父母很耐心,第三段寫父母能給自己提很多建議,這兩段可以作為支撐文章中心論點(diǎn)的分論點(diǎn);但是在這之后又寫了一些自己目前胡情況,跟父母沒有多大關(guān)系,完全可以刪去;
I am now studying in NO.2 high school ,which is the best high school and being well known all over Guangzhou .
Suppose that my parents have never taught me the living skill and encourage me when I was in trouble ,I will never have such this achievememt now .
I don’t deny that someone think parents aren’t the best teacher.
我復(fù)制上來的這一部分,與主題沒有關(guān)系,題目要你談父母,你的每一段的分論點(diǎn)都應(yīng)該以父母為中心.
我的建議是,碰到這樣的題目,當(dāng)你對(duì)正反兩方都不能找出足夠多的理由的時(shí)候,最好寫成正反平衡式的,(前兩段定支持后一段寫反對(duì),或者前兩段寫反對(duì),后一段寫支持,一般中間寫三段再加開關(guān)結(jié)尾各一段)這樣就可以使文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰明了,布局合理緊湊,給人很充實(shí)的感覺.
你寫的這篇出現(xiàn)的問題就是理由不充分,分論點(diǎn)只有兩個(gè),而且這兩個(gè)分論點(diǎn)不能很好地支撐文章的中心論點(diǎn).
幫我看看我的托福作文吧 多給些建議
幫我看看我的托福作文吧 多給些建議
do you agree or disagree with the following statement Parents are the best teachers .
我的作文:
The recent years have seen the profound changes of edication system,during which a growing number of people deem that parents are the best teachers .Meanwhile ,still some deny it .I side with the former .As I see it ,parents leading is extremely necessary .
A good case in point is my parents ,the most important people of my live ,being my best teacher when I was young,are so patient .As a child ,they taught me how to walked on the road ,how to wrote on the paper ,how to talked with others and how to be a good person ect.In my clear memory ,when I was a primary school student ,is so interested in everything that delight me had a curiosity to try everything new even though it was harmful to me.So my patient parents always had to take good care of me and preventing me from the dangerous things .How important they are
They are not only patient but they usually give me some useful suggestions for me .A particular example is that ,as time went by ,I had been grown year after year .More and more problems,which I had to face ,delight me stressful .The day near the middle exam ,which is my second important exam in my life ,concern me whether I would pass it or not .I couldn’t sleep well all the time .At that time,my parents,who is my most helpful persons ,appeared and try to calm me down .They taught me how to face the exam ,what kind of the quality I must have .After hearing it ,I felt much better .
I am now studying in NO.2 high school ,which is the best high school and being well known all over Guangzhou .
Suppose that my parents have never taught me the living skill and encourage me when I was in trouble ,I will never have such this achievememt now .
I don’t deny that someone think parents aren’t the best teacher.
From what I has been discussed above ,we may safely draw the conclusion that,my parents ,who leaded me and educate me when I was young ,are the best teachers of mine from the birth to death .
do you agree or disagree with the following statement Parents are the best teachers .
我的作文:
The recent years have seen the profound changes of edication system,during which a growing number of people deem that parents are the best teachers .Meanwhile ,still some deny it .I side with the former .As I see it ,parents leading is extremely necessary .
A good case in point is my parents ,the most important people of my live ,being my best teacher when I was young,are so patient .As a child ,they taught me how to walked on the road ,how to wrote on the paper ,how to talked with others and how to be a good person ect.In my clear memory ,when I was a primary school student ,is so interested in everything that delight me had a curiosity to try everything new even though it was harmful to me.So my patient parents always had to take good care of me and preventing me from the dangerous things .How important they are
They are not only patient but they usually give me some useful suggestions for me .A particular example is that ,as time went by ,I had been grown year after year .More and more problems,which I had to face ,delight me stressful .The day near the middle exam ,which is my second important exam in my life ,concern me whether I would pass it or not .I couldn’t sleep well all the time .At that time,my parents,who is my most helpful persons ,appeared and try to calm me down .They taught me how to face the exam ,what kind of the quality I must have .After hearing it ,I felt much better .
I am now studying in NO.2 high school ,which is the best high school and being well known all over Guangzhou .
Suppose that my parents have never taught me the living skill and encourage me when I was in trouble ,I will never have such this achievememt now .
I don’t deny that someone think parents aren’t the best teacher.
From what I has been discussed above ,we may safely draw the conclusion that,my parents ,who leaded me and educate me when I was young ,are the best teachers of mine from the birth to death .
其他人氣:127 ℃時(shí)間:2020-07-03 11:36:19
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