雅思作文不是只看語(yǔ)法的,你的結(jié)構(gòu)往往比語(yǔ)法更加重要.你的作文存在一下幾個(gè)問(wèn)題:
第一,在首段未表明觀點(diǎn).只是說(shuō)some people think...卻沒(méi)有說(shuō) I think
第二,文章結(jié)構(gòu)不太對(duì).他要求你discuss both views and give your opinion.
那么文章的結(jié)構(gòu)應(yīng)該是“第一段:背景闡述/表明觀點(diǎn)(一句即可,在后面詳述)--第二段:討論第一種觀點(diǎn)--第三段:討論第二種觀點(diǎn)--第四段--論述你的觀點(diǎn)--第五段:總結(jié)”..
你可以自己比對(duì)一下.你可以不按照這樣分段,但文章中一定要有這些環(huán)節(jié).
第三,不善于打句號(hào).總是一逗到底,讓人很難明白你到底一句中想要說(shuō)些什么.建議你一句話(huà)只說(shuō)一件事,不要用太多的長(zhǎng)句子.因?yàn)檫@會(huì)使你的語(yǔ)言顯得非常生澀.
總之,這篇文章應(yīng)該是3分到4分左右.沒(méi)有走題,但是也沒(méi)有你自己的觀點(diǎn)的詳細(xì)論述.
PS:從你的文章中看出,你的基礎(chǔ)應(yīng)該還不錯(cuò),像普通的高中生.也許有些還寫(xiě)不出這樣的 ...可能你是還沒(méi)有找到寫(xiě)這種英語(yǔ)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)化考試應(yīng)試作文的精髓.建議你多看點(diǎn)別人寫(xiě)的,或者是買(mǎi)幾本書(shū)看看.你們考雅思的應(yīng)該還是有基本參考書(shū)的吧,多看看那上面的文章.體會(huì)他們的結(jié)構(gòu).相信你一定可以達(dá)到6分的.
幫忙批改雅思作文
幫忙批改雅思作文
Topic:Some people believe that teenagers should learn all school subjects,while others claim that students should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they are interested in.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In many places of the world,it is common these days for students to learn all the subjects at school.While,some people think it is not essential for them to do that,they can choose the part of subjects which they are interested in or good at.
These people believe that let students select what courses they want to learn by themselves is very beneficial.Students will becoming more positive in learning and give full play to their energy because of it.In addition,it is also the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives in the future,which is not likely to those students who do not know what they to do after blindly study all the courses.What's more,it provide a chance for these students who are not excellent enough in all courses yet have a good command of one,to show their striking talent.
However,they are probably wrong.Teenagers should learn every subject in their school.Many of these teenager's though are not very mature,they select it because they like it at that time,while after a few months late,they begin to feel the subject is not as interesting as their thought,then they will soon get tried of studying,which is the last thing people would want.Furthermore,if teenagers do not learn all subjects,how do they make out what subjects they are best at or care about?If they choose major in science,how do they express it clearly with lack of language training?
So overall,my view is that teenagers may try to learn all school subjects in their study career instead of selecting to learn.It will enable them to broaden their horizons,and find a real suitable position for themselves.
要到6分怎么改?語(yǔ)法怎么改?
Topic:Some people believe that teenagers should learn all school subjects,while others claim that students should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they are interested in.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In many places of the world,it is common these days for students to learn all the subjects at school.While,some people think it is not essential for them to do that,they can choose the part of subjects which they are interested in or good at.
These people believe that let students select what courses they want to learn by themselves is very beneficial.Students will becoming more positive in learning and give full play to their energy because of it.In addition,it is also the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives in the future,which is not likely to those students who do not know what they to do after blindly study all the courses.What's more,it provide a chance for these students who are not excellent enough in all courses yet have a good command of one,to show their striking talent.
However,they are probably wrong.Teenagers should learn every subject in their school.Many of these teenager's though are not very mature,they select it because they like it at that time,while after a few months late,they begin to feel the subject is not as interesting as their thought,then they will soon get tried of studying,which is the last thing people would want.Furthermore,if teenagers do not learn all subjects,how do they make out what subjects they are best at or care about?If they choose major in science,how do they express it clearly with lack of language training?
So overall,my view is that teenagers may try to learn all school subjects in their study career instead of selecting to learn.It will enable them to broaden their horizons,and find a real suitable position for themselves.
要到6分怎么改?語(yǔ)法怎么改?
其他人氣:546 ℃時(shí)間:2020-05-13 04:20:16
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