求助高手幫忙看看這篇雅思大作文能夠打多少分,并且給點修改意見,
There are many advertisements directed at children such as snacks,toys and other goods.Parents argue that children are under pressure.Advertisers claim that the advertisements provide useful information.What is your opinion?
文章：
In contemporary world,the issue that whether advertisements are helpful to children or not,is a controversial topic and brings hot discussion.People who criticize advertisements contend that these proffer too much information to allure children to purchase the products,which may impose severe pressure on children.I disagree with this statement.I maintain that advertisements play an important role in young children’s lives.Several examples and reasons are listed as follows.
Apparently,some advertisements are intended made to attract children’s attention and others provide unnecessary information that may mislead young children who lack the ability of discrimination.However,in my observation,there are still many brilliant advertisers making advertisements which can be called masterpieces to children.
The main reason for my propensity is that a creative advertisement will not only introduce the good to children successfully but also stimulate the children’s creation and imagination.As we all know,children are curious about everything around the world,the weird and simulating advertisements provide an access for children to an imaginative world that broaden children’s outlook,they can work as triggers to motivate the ability of innovation in children,which can benefit children a lot in their further study.
Another argument should be considered equally is that sufficient information among all the advertisements help children acquire better discrimination.It is universally acknowledged that we can’t promise all the producers and advertisers are responsible to children,hence some useless or even harmful information will be received by children.But when we look at this situation in another perspective,when a pupil confronts choices from each advertisement,he has to separate the good from the evil clearly,through this process,he can well cultivate himself the ability of discrimination which can help himself make right decisions in his later life.
By and large,from my point of view,I think the advantage of advertisements overweighs the disadvantages under the circumstance that parents guide correctly and children appreciate advertisements constructively.