偏題了,論證不夠有力,錯誤很多,字數(shù)也不夠吧
首先論題這句話是說,像世界杯這樣的國際體育賽事是非常重要的緩解國際關(guān)系緊張和釋放愛國情緒的安全的方式.這句話里“are essential in”是說明“對...非常重要”的意思,你在整篇文章里都把它和easing international tensions 連在一起了.另外,“their country’s honor”應(yīng)為“their countries' honor”,這類錯誤不少.
你用的句子太長,很多沒有必要,并沒有用到句型的變化,只是用逗號代替了句號而已,這樣既沒有加分還造成了錯誤.還不如用短句.
論題包含兩個要素,緩解國際關(guān)系緊張和釋放愛國情緒
我覺得你只寫到了第二點,而且結(jié)尾總結(jié)時寫的是體育,而不是國際體育賽事.國際體育賽事是體育的一種形式,你可以寫體育是公平平等的,但是最后一定要把國際賽事點出來.
agree or disagree 這種題型,第一段表明論點,后面有大概三段舉例論證,第四段總結(jié).最好有實例,愛國情緒可以寫北京奧運自己的感受之類的.
我不是專業(yè)的,估計這篇作文5分以下,還要多努力啊
請各位給點評打分 雅思作文
請各位給點評打分 雅思作文
popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.agree or disagree?
Overall ,I agree with the opinion expressed,I think it is a safe way to releasing patriotic emotions and a good chance to essential in easing international.
To begin with,in the international sporting occasions,just like the Word Cup,all the players are delegate their country’s honor,at that time ,people’s patriotic emotions reached the top,and all focus the sport,hope to show their best,the also very unite without the bias and the race,at the end of every teams which are finished the game in the Word Cup ,all the players are exchange their clothes with the opponents,it’s a friendly compartment,and also can essential in easing international tensions.Similarly in the Olympic Games,at the closing ceremony ,all the players whatever they come from different countries and different races,even some of them who’s country are fighting with another ,all of them are hand in hand and hope for peace.
In addition,it’s also a good chance to unfold the culture about your country,people’s special cheer and full of passion but politeness to express their emotions,can give a good impression to other country.
Finally ,the sports are an equally and peacefully athletics ,so I think it may be one of the best way to releasing patriotic emotions and essential in easing international tensions,but also a safe way.
popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.agree or disagree?
Overall ,I agree with the opinion expressed,I think it is a safe way to releasing patriotic emotions and a good chance to essential in easing international.
To begin with,in the international sporting occasions,just like the Word Cup,all the players are delegate their country’s honor,at that time ,people’s patriotic emotions reached the top,and all focus the sport,hope to show their best,the also very unite without the bias and the race,at the end of every teams which are finished the game in the Word Cup ,all the players are exchange their clothes with the opponents,it’s a friendly compartment,and also can essential in easing international tensions.Similarly in the Olympic Games,at the closing ceremony ,all the players whatever they come from different countries and different races,even some of them who’s country are fighting with another ,all of them are hand in hand and hope for peace.
In addition,it’s also a good chance to unfold the culture about your country,people’s special cheer and full of passion but politeness to express their emotions,can give a good impression to other country.
Finally ,the sports are an equally and peacefully athletics ,so I think it may be one of the best way to releasing patriotic emotions and essential in easing international tensions,but also a safe way.
其他人氣:285 ℃時間:2020-04-12 17:28:44
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