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  • 求托福TPO1的綜合寫作作文批改

    求托福TPO1的綜合寫作作文批改
    In the lecture,the professor
    casts doubt on the reading passage`s idea that offering employees the four-day
    working option may increase the company`s economy and employees` life quality.
    The professor asserts that four-day working option may have nothing to do with
    the company or employee.
    To begin with,the professor
    argues that it would decrease the company`s profits if they shorten the
    workweek.According to the reading passage,employees would make fewer significant
    errors in their work because of the increasing resting time,and the company
    could hire more people with the same money they payed for five-day workweek.In
    opposition to this arguement,the professor says that hire more people means
    that the company would pay more for freshmen`s training,and new employees need
    working space and computers.
    On top of that,the professor
    claims that four-day workweek would increase the employees` pressure.The
    reading passage describes that this policy can shift the employees` workload to
    others.But on the contrary,that professor states that the company would
    increase the expectation,they would want employees finish the whole working
    they did in five days in four day,it can increase the job difficulty and would
    make people always over working.
    Lastly,the professor rebuts
    the reading`s point that this policy is good for individual employees,by
    demonstrating that more free time would make people decrease the job stability.
    The professor points out that the company would be willing to choose the person
    who likes to work five days,and the four-day working employees would have
    risks loosing job.
    其他人氣:181 ℃時間:2020-04-30 02:55:05
    優(yōu)質解答
    首先要說你這作文已經找到4個得分點了.綜合作文每個人都有自己的模板,所以無需對于文章結構修改.(我考了4次,除第一次裸考外,綜合作文得了3次Good)但是小的可以修改的地方還是有的,比如首段其實可以不寫雙方那么細...那這樣的綜合寫作算OK嗎?繼續(xù)加強的地方還有哪些呢?認真而言你的語法運用技巧比我要高,但其實綜合寫作在文筆上要求不高的,綜合寫作要抓住的就是四個點,觀點對立/支持,雙方觀點及支持細節(jié)×3. 你這篇文章里4點都齊了,理論上講應該是Good。你要非要加強的話就只有增加同義轉換,把細節(jié)小錯誤改掉(單復數;時態(tài);動名詞運用-比如第二段“...says that hire more people means that...” 就需要改)
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