請(qǐng)幫忙給我的托福作文打分~
請(qǐng)懂托福作文打分的或者作文達(dá)人打個(gè)分（我指30分滿分的那種）,因?yàn)橄胫雷约旱乃饺绾?這是我頭一次寫的兩篇（另一篇打不下我重發(fā)一個(gè)提問(wèn)）,雖然只有獨(dú)立寫作的,但是也請(qǐng)按照30滿分的那個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)~如果可以順便說(shuō)一下5分滿分的也可以,但是請(qǐng)先告訴我30分的~
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example,new experiences,career preparation,increased knowledge).Why do you think people attend college or university?Use specific examples to support your answer.
The Reasons People Enter University
In this fast-paced,driven society,people are becoming more and more competitive.Many people choose to get a university diploma to make them more appealing when applying for jobs.This is now a very common phenomenon in our daily life.We can also become one of these people.
Several decades ago,when our parents and grandparents attended college or university,their motives might be a little simpler.Long ago,receiving university education is a symbol of a knowledgeable,respectful person.People attend university to gain knowledge.In fact,most students attend college and university just to make them sagacious until nowadays.Some of them have real passion for books,so they choose to receive higher education to absorb more knowledge.
With the great change of the society,more students attend university for other reasons.Some practical students may say that they enter university to learn skills and professional knowledge so that they can have a certain job after graduation.Some students will also say that the most precious thing college study gives them is experiences,which is of great help to them when they finally start to work.All these occasions indicate that university education benefits them greatly when they begin to work.With a bachelor’s diploma,a candidate has more chances to beat another candidate who is merely graduated from high school.With the experiences and knowledge gained from university,people can work favorably,even when they are facing difficult decisions.
Whatever a fresh man’s motive is when he or she attend university,university study will benefit him/her when they apply for jobs and begin to work.I think every person knows it.People go to college and university for two reasons,love for knowledge or wanting to benefit their later life when they start to do their jobs.
我不需要安慰,盡情地打擊我沒(méi)關(guān)系~我只要實(shí)話,這樣的寫作水平我上托?？紙?chǎng)寫作部分能多少分?還有如果有什么修改意見(jiàn)的話能提出來(lái)最好,我會(huì)另加分.
很感謝monseneu的回答
但是還有沒(méi)有人愿意再提點(diǎn)建議的呢,