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  • 各位大俠幫我改下雅思作文吧!

    各位大俠幫我改下雅思作文吧!
    I do not fully agree with the statement that the amount of violence in films and on TV should be controlled by government in order to decrease the violence crimes,in other words,violence in these medium is an significant cause of inceasing crime rate.
    Certainly,violence on screen does have influence on individuals,especially on children,who are easier to simulate violent behaviours when the violence exposed to them .as a result,they may place what they have learnt on their peers ,which probably leads to conflicts and even crimes.
    However,the fact is ,most films are labelled to inform the audiences of the likelihood of violence contents.When they are showed in the cinema,children are usually not admitted into the screening room.As for violence programmes on TV,we can simply postpone them late in the evening ,when children have already slept.
    其他人氣:585 ℃時間:2020-06-22 19:04:18
    優(yōu)質(zhì)解答
    寫的還行啊,多用點linking word吧,感覺用的有點少,缺少logical的感覺還有 最後一段。。。Only in the state does man have a rational existence. The reason why violence programmes have not been droven away is that , not only do they reflect some aspects of our realistic life, watching them also , to some extent, is a great relief to those who are excessively stressful. Without them, some people may commit to suicide and offence.我覺得你還缺一段conclusion吧,這一段看著不算conclusion吧,完全就是在寫另一方面了啊確實還有 一段來著。。。發(fā)不上來了。
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