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  • 雅思作文task2批改評(píng)分

    雅思作文task2批改評(píng)分
    Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational,otherwise they are a complete waste of time.Do you agree or disagree?
    In the present age,the issue of how children can spend their leisure time is increasingly disturbing.Some people argue that their leisure time should be educated.Personally,I agree with their view,but I would qualify it to some extent.
    It is apparent that teaching children how to use their free time effectly plays a pivotal role in their growth.To begin with,the children will acquire more knowledge after study.Their teachers or parents can use this method ,not only to let them understand some useful information,but also can relax their minds and ease their minds.Therefore,this is a good way to improve themselves.Moreover,this method can save much time for children.As the student's studies are becoming increasingly harder,they should dedicate on their study.Therefore,they have less time to broaden their horizons.Additionally,educating children when they are free can also help their studying - that is to say,when they studying in the future,they can use these information,and their study will be more efficient.
    Besides,some indlvlduals thlnk that this is their right to distribute their free time.The main reason ls that every body has his or her right to do things,especially for the children.When they finished their homeworks,the children should play more to relax themselves,not to teach them again.Nonetheless,as many children cannot control themselves today,we should introduce them to play.As a matter of fact,the children will receive more,provided that we use a good measure to help them.
    Overall,the children's leisure time should be educational,thereby they can acquire success easily in the future.
    其他人氣:502 ℃時(shí)間:2020-05-08 05:50:09
    優(yōu)質(zhì)解答
    初評(píng)5.5-61.結(jié)構(gòu)不錯(cuò),語(yǔ)法正確,有少量拼寫錯(cuò)誤2.第三段與第二段的邏輯關(guān)系是轉(zhuǎn)折,應(yīng)該用however等等3.主要問題是用詞趨于簡(jiǎn)單,句式還不夠多變,論證不夠深入但詳實(shí)4.結(jié)尾太簡(jiǎn)單,時(shí)間不夠么?修改后提出的論點(diǎn)減少,論證...
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