不對(duì),伴隨狀語(yǔ)的動(dòng)作發(fā)出者（也叫邏輯主語(yǔ).注意：不是動(dòng)作對(duì)象）應(yīng)該是句子的主語(yǔ),而it 不能做conduct research的主語(yǔ).
應(yīng)該是：
It will help me to achieve my career goal:to be a scientist who conducts research in a national lab.（注：冒號(hào)也可改為破折號(hào)）
或者：It will help me to achieve my career goal:to be a scientist conducting research in a national lab.
或者：It will help me to achieve my career goal of becoming a scientist who conducts research in a national lab.
另外,非限定動(dòng)詞（不定式、分詞等）都存在邏輯主語(yǔ)的問(wèn)題.it will serve to achieve中to achieve的邏輯主語(yǔ)從結(jié)構(gòu)上看應(yīng)該是前面的代詞it,但實(shí)際上應(yīng)該是“我”,所以改為：It will help me to achieve